Until the Last Breath
by AmeChi
Summary: They loved only for the other with all their soul and all their hearts could muster. They lived only for the other with all their being. /Teacher!Len/Student!Rin/ And if one were to die, they both knew...The other would follow soon after. Or...maybe not.
1. The New Destiny

Until The Last Breath

VOCALOID – 02

By: Chi~

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own any phrases or other things used in here. Just what's left of my soul.**

**A/N**: I don't really know why I got the inspiration to write something like this…but I just did. I found out that a former teacher of mine, during my Sophomore year, passed away during the summer and it was sort of a shock. Then I got these visions of this…well, you'll see.

Enjoy, if you dare. And…have a tissue ready…or twenty.

This is a four-part story, by the way. It'll go faster than my other fics that are in-progress because this is my current inspiration. I hope you like it.

_Read in 1/2.

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_

**Until The Last Breath

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**

The students filed out one by one, but she was always the only one still in her seat – like any other day. Nobody really questioned it, which she was quite thankful for. And the best thing was that most didn't even bother to start rumors. For once, which she saw as a miracle, nobody really cared about what the other was doing or hiding in or outside of school.

Their secret was at peace. She knew it wouldn't forever, people aren't stupid and eventually, they'll notice the secret glances, the low conversations they would have during class with seeming innocence but was really coded talk, and the fact that she would be the only one behind as everyone leaves at the end of the day. Until such a thing would happen, there was serenity in the law _they_ were breaking. Every day she would wait until they're alone in the classroom to have one last secret conversation with him until they would see each other, later in the night.

She looked up, met the glance he made while tapping at his laptop-computer. She smiled, gathered her things at last. She didn't even need to look away from his bright turquoise eyes to see what she was doing – she'd done it so many times before.

Hugging her two books to her chest, she stepped up to his desk. He sat forward in his seat, ceasing his fingers from typing on his computer. Their eyes continued to stare at each other, holding a quiet discussion.

"_Safe tonight_," she asked with her azure depths.

He blinked away, checking the open door in case anyone were to peek in, just for a second. When he saw that no one was there and the coast was clear, his turquoise depths flashed back to hers and he gave a small nod in confirmation.

"_You_," he asked back a second later, lightly smiling while interlocking his hands and resting them on the polished surface of his mahogany desk.

She beamed. He actually looked like a teacher, for once. The wonderful irony.

Nodding a little in affirmation while flicking some of her flaxen hair out of her face, she grinned. "_Yes_," she replied while setting her hand on the desk, skillfully holding her books to her chest with one arm.

His eyes darkened slightly, warmth in his gaze. "_Okay_." He smiled softly and she returned it with passion.

She turned and started to step away. But as she stepped, she ran her fingertips softly against the smooth surface. Her eyes let his as she went and she turned her head, but her smile never left her lips. She continued to step away until her fingertips were close to meeting the surface's limit. Then, she curled all her fingers in – except for one.

His smile turned almost loving as she began to tap her index finger against his desk. A routine that had more significance than meets the eye.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

He gave one more look at her back as she gracefully folded her free arm back around her books pressed against her chest and rushed off.

Sighing softly to himself, he leaned back in his chair. He spread his fingers out on the desk after pulling them apart. He drummed them against the surface for just a moment before he used his left index finger to tap his fingernail against the wood four times.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

* * *

_

**•** **It started during Sophomore year •

* * *

**

He was a new teacher to Hikari High school. A surprise for her as well as all the other girls at the time, only because of his young age of twenty-three. Plus, most thought he was drop-dead gorgeous, so it was to be expected.

She hadn't really thought of him that way – she had been quite indifferent about the fact that he was a young English teacher. She did admit that he was quite the looker (she had enjoyed listening to her friends go on about him being some sort of shota), so that was a given. But any feelings for him didn't build just from his age or looks. To tell the truth, no such thing happened like that with him either (and she was the school's '_kawaii-flower_,' as many of his male students had dubbed her). She really had been quite cute to him, too…

But for them, it didn't take just a simple _look_.

[Or…then again…maybe it did.]

* * *

**•** **It took months •

* * *

**

"_Kagami-chan, I kept you after class to inform you that you are failing my class."_

"_E-Eh-?"_

"_I believe…you missed two weeks last month? It seems that your grade still hasn't recovered from it."_

"_But didn't I make up the work?"_

"_I have that, so you did…but you failed the last two tests and that didn't really help it, as you know – let me show you…See?" _

"…_Ow…"_

"_Heh. Don't fret."_

"_How _can't_ I? That' atrocious, more less embarrassing."_

"_Just stay after school and we'll fix this up, yes?"_

"_I…okay, Kagamine-sensei…"

* * *

_

**•** **For a forbidden apple •

* * *

**

"_F-Forgive me, Kagami-chan, I-I didn't-"_

"_You can't do something like _that_ without meaning it, Sensei."_

"…"

"…_It's almost the end of the year, I've noticed this…th-these feelings…f-for _you_…after these five months…"_

"_K-Kagami-chan-"_

"_Please…I know you feel it, too…be it lust or something so much more…"_

"_Kagami- !" _

"…_Please…Sensei…don't just kiss me and expect me to believe that you didn't mean it…and that you didn't want me to kiss you _back_."_

"_Kagami-chan- but…this is…"_

"…_I really like you…Sensei…"_

"…"

"_I-I don't know why but…I feel as though these f-feelings are…they were…this was inevitable -!"

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_

**•** **To be bitten into •

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**

"_N – nn…Le-Len…!"_

"_R-Rin…"_

"_I…I – I love you - !"_

"_I – I l-love you, t-too…!"

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_

**•** **Only to create… •

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**

"_It seems that I'll be having you as my English teacher again, Len."_

"_So it seems…"_

"_I…I'm excited…but nervous…"_

"_Why is that?"_

"_Well, hello, I'm very much _in love_ with you here – "_

"_And _I am_ with you. What's your point, little hana?"_

"_I…I'm just afraid one of us will blow our cover…a-and I…ah-damn it…"_

"_No, no, little hana…my songbird…don't cry…"_

"_It's just, every time I think about it…I can see you losing the job you love and even going to j-jail or something-"_

"_Songbird, you know that can't happen. You're basically an adult now."_

"_B-But _still_ – "_

" '_But' nothing, little hana…If it bugs you this much, then we'll figure something _together_…like we have been for months."_

"…_Mm…you're right…_together_…"_

"…_Forever and eternity, my songbird. Forever."_

"…"

"…'_f you keep looking at me like that, I'll cry, too, you know..."

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_

**•** **The most purest love of all •

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**

The seventeen year old girl was quite the open and tough one. She could take many things at once, at least, as long as she wasn't forced down to her true, vulnerable, as breakable as an egg, self. Not many people had been able to muster the patience to get closer to her. Therefore, she didn't have many friends as a result due to the fact that she always pursued those that – in all simplicity – made her feel alive.

Her teacher, as ironic as it is, was one of them. A man who enjoyed puzzles and loved trying to figure her out everyday. He wasn't just a friend and probably never was destined to be such the moment they set eyes on each other.

He was the one she had been quietly looking for since the time she became aware that there was more to life than just toys and cookies.

The unbearable, unconditional, and avoidable love for him was proof enough for her and for once in her life – she felt whole. Complete. _Finished_.

The moment their eyes met, it wasn't love. It was just them realizing the inevitable. Had it been passion at first sight? No. Only a connection that both of them had always been – almost unintentionally – praying for most of their lives.

A connection hat led them both to a taste of salvation. Of dedication. Of loyalty. Or pure honesty.

And of irrevocable true love.

A man of twenty-four and a mere girl of seventeen. Fate _does_ work in strange ways, does it not? Basically, they were breaking the law, just for being in love. No one would approve, no _adult_ – at least, not most. So, when has that ever stopped anyone?

Very well no one, yes?

Nothing would stop her from sneaking out of her bedroom – in the dead of the night – to climb over some fences and travel a few blocks just to spend time with her beloved – _unless_ it killed her, lifeless as a doornail. She literally believed she would move mountains just to get a glimpse of him, if that were the situation. Most people would probably think she was only naïve – that she didn't understand what she was feeling and therefore, didn't know it – but when Rin Kagami was serious about something, one would _have_ to reconsider. (Most of the time, she _knew_ what she was doing before she even considered _doing_ it.)

She knew for sure. She loved the man Len Kagamine with all of her mind and soul – and even her very body, which she had always cherished and respected. She knew _just_ what she was doing and she expressed her feelings in private just as she knew she should and to please him. Everything that was hers was his and would be – strictly – until her either destined or untimely demise. She was his and nobody else's as much as he was. She had chosen. It was finished. She was tied to him – _tightly_.

After all, she had given all of herself to him and such a thing was quite a task to achieve.

The best thing about all of such was the on fact that pushed any doubtful thought she would come across about him right out of her mind.

He had done the _exact_ same for her.

She knew she was lucky.

She knew she wasn't worthy as much as anyone else.

But, however – facts were – she was blessed. _They_ were blessed. And blessed well.

They loved only for the other with all their soul…and all their hearts could muster. They loved only for the other with all their being.

And if one were to die, they both knew…

The other would follow soon after, no matter what the cost…

* * *

**•** **And so, a new destiny begins… •**

: | . | :**  
**

**- Part One -**

The evening air was almost refreshing as she climbed over a certain fence. She couldn't really feel it, considering she was wearing black sweats over a mere tank top and shorts, but the air on her face was good enough. She supposed it was one of the good things that came out of sneaking back and forth at the middle of the night and a couple house before dawn (the bad was minor injuries and _exercise_ – which she'd be damned if she stopped doing such just for _that_).

Setting her little foot on the ground, she let go of the wood fence and quickly balance herself on both feet.

"Yosh," she muttered as she started across the grass, getting closer to her destination. (She was lucky and glad her lover's house was right next to a street with street lights, so she could see.)

Stepping up on the small slab of concrete at the back door, she reached up and softly tapped her right index finger against the wood. She heard a small movement from the inside, indicating that things were going according to plan. (Not that she'd had any doubt, of course.)

Before her eyes in a small matter of short seconds, the door was open and the same almost haunting turquoise eyes, full of eagerness and longing _just_ for her, met hers.

She was silently beckoned inside and what was she to do then accept the invitation and step inside to air conditioning…

And Len. Her two favorite things.

The moment the door softly closed – before she even got to utter even a syllable – strong arms were around her as well as lips she would never get tired of were on hers. She was hoisted up and pressed against the wall as she immediately participated in his passion kiss, pouring her longing for his touch and private presence into it.

As he held her expertly against the door, with her legs firmly wrapped around his waist, he let out a soft groan. He felt it – every last bit – and only uncovered his by taking her mouth and devouring her until she gasped for his mercy and he had to reluctantly let her break away.

"I…I'm sorry," she panted as he rested his forehead against hers with his eyes closed, just as flushed and breathless as she was. "I didn't expect such a…_greeting_."

"I apologize," he huskily replied. He frowned, which – in all honesty – really was a _pout_. "It's just…it feels like it's been forever…"

She sighed in the midst of her deep breathing, causing his "frown" to slightly curl into an amused grin.

"Len, it's only been eight hours and I got here as quick as I could," she said with slight exasperation.

He softly chuckled that husky chuckle of his. The one that never ceased to cause shivers to run down her spine, down to her toes and all the way back up again.

With a nuzzle, he murmured lowly, "But I missed you…"

She lightly nuzzled back with warmth. "Such a sap…" she breathed.

He did that chuckle again as his hands slowly ran up her sides and either sides of her chest, caressing her and making her impulsively arch against him, before he cupped her beautiful, heart-shaped face.

Her eyes softly fluttered open, making him admire the volume of her blond lashes. He had see it numerous of times and yet they were still amazingly alluring to him. She looked up into his, flushed harder at his gaze of adoration and her hands soon found themselves over his on her face. Her finger tips rested on his knuckles.

She began to smile softly, eyes brightening with love.

"I missed you, too," she muttered as he leaned in. Softly sighing hotly as her eyes slowly slipped closed again, his lips captured hers, making her heart jump against her chest.

With drowning passion, they softly moaned to each other as their mouths molded together and somewhat fought each other for dominance when he asked for entrance and she happily approved. His hands were digging and his body was snuggily pressing against her before long. And she was almost suffocating in all the love and lust he was wonderfully pouring into her.

She shuddered when he finally broke away, both of them just as breathless as they had been before.

And then, his hands were suddenly cupped at her bottom as he began to hold her against him. She quickly tightened her legs around him and wrapped her arms around his neck, realizing that he was going to carry her now.

She knew where.

Softly kissing at his chin and jaw, he began to carry her out into the adjoining hall as if she weighed nothing, toward a room she would never forget for the rest of her life.

She knew what was going to happen next. It was almost routine. And if she loved anything more than Len, it would be just what they were about to do in only a minutes time.

: | . | :

An hour or two later, Rin found herself awake and staring at him as he slept. He was breathing softly and his face flushed from their activities but blissfully smooth. Absolutely beautiful, in her opinion, and she couldn't help smiling at the selfish that…

_Only I can see it._

Lightly curling at his side, resting her head on his shoulder, and softly drew little circles against his chest. She smiled lovingly when he turned more to her and softly sigh in contentment in his sleep. She kissed his collarbone softly, amusement in her eyes.

_How'd it come to this,_ she asked once gain in her mind probably for the hundredth time during the past year and a half. It was as if she was a sixteen year old again – a virgin and somewhat alone – and then she blinked and there she was, in bed with a mellow afterglow and staring the most important thing in his life as it sleeps. Not only that, but she was so happy that even her heart ached. Ever ache she had, it was all him.

Going through all the memories she had of all that they'd been through. That day, driving a tutoring session, when he was helping her on a critical reading question and leaning in a _little_ to close and "unintentionally" took her first kiss.

Or their first secret dinner date in the next town so no one would recognize them. Or when they began to learn more and more about each other and quickly falling for each faster than they could control. When they though up their own secret gestures to communicate and plan during class due to the fact that she didn't have a cellular phone. When they realized they only lived just a few blocks away and she discovered the fastest route to get there without being caught by random night patrol in their neighborhood.

The first night she came over…

The first night they confessed their love…

And the first night they gave all of themselves to each other – the night they first _made love_.

[And so much more.]

Her heart fluttered during her thoughts, remembering every single memory. _So much really can happen in just a year and a few months_…she slowly began to draw a heart on his breast, blinking with a blank expression. Just one year and she was in love. She hadn't even anticipated such a thing a year ago (especially not liking sex _this_ much – but that was a different story).

She blinked again, looking up at his face. _Intriguing…_ She stared at him then, still drawing patterns against his soft yet strong chest. And he lightly grinned a little in his sleep.

She fell in love again.

Sighing in contentment just as he had however long ago, she rested her head against the crook of his neck and let her eyes slip closed in bliss.

"Aishiteru," she whispered softly as his arm sluggishly, but strong, wrapped around her. It was as if he was responding with sincerity even through his fitful sleep. (Either that, or he was slightly awake and able to hear what she said.) She smiled more and kissed his skin.

Very lowly as she let her eyes slip closed, she promised, "Matsudai…"

: | . | :

At least a counter after three in the morning, she awoke to no Len and discovered her hands tightly clutching at the sheets where he had been. Slightly baffled with a peculiar feeling in the pit of her stomach, she sat up on her elbows and shook her head to get the sheet off her head. She wondered where he was… It wasn't because she didn't like not being around him (although that was part of it), it was just the _feeling_ she had. She looked around groggily with the lamp on his bedside table to her left. He was nowhere to be found within the pale yellow painted bedroom.

Cocking her head to the side as she turned her eyes to his alarm clock and distinguished the time, which baffled her even more when she realized the hour. Not only was Len gone, but he hadn't even woken her up before he left or set the alarm for her to get up. Three o'clock was usually the time she would get ready to travel back home (due to her mother's schedule) and Len would always wake her up at that time if she ever fell asleep during their time together.

_Unusual_, she thought as she turned herself over and sat up in the bed. Slightly frowning, she wiped at the sleep in her eyes and flipped her flaxen hair out of her face.

"Len," she called, voice slightly hoarse from sleeping.

She waited for a few moments and got no response.

Raising a brow, she slipped out of the sheets and tiredly sought out her shorts and his t-shirt. She felt a little kinky after that, and definitely a _loli_, when she noticed his shirt covered even her shorts (which made her look like she was _only_ wearing his shirt) and crookedly hung off her shoulder a little. _Ugh_.

Brushing back her hair out of her face again, she started out of his bedroom and into her missing lover's three bedroom, one story house.

_Let's see, this hasn't happened in a long while, but when it did…hm_, she dug through her memories. _I think…I found him in…_ She trailed off in her mind as she stepped to the closed room next to the one she'd just exited. _The study_.

Last time, when such happened, she found him in his study, working on his lesson plans. 'Course, even then, he had been quite punctual with waking her up – even though it had been just a quarter to two at the time.

Yawning softly, she slowly opened the door and peered in, only to blink at the darkness that met her and close it right back. She sniffed lightly and her eyes narrowed. _'S empty._

She tapped her foot a little.

Where was he and what was he doing? She understood if he hadn't heard her when she called him. But she knew that he definitely would've heard her open the door. So, what was he doing? The feeling in her stomach felt like it was slightly worsening…

She was beginning to wonder if he had left to do a quick errand (for _whatever_ reason), when she heard the sound of a cabinet door closing in the kitchen down the hall.

_Oh_, she though. He was in the kitchen…

_With the light off…?_

Puzzled, she walked down the hall and reached through the doorway of the kitchen for the light switch. _Strange much? _

The lightly blared on, and there he was. Caught red-handed in front of the window over the sink with a glass of water in one hand and two red and blue capsules in the other.

She blinked as he turned his head toward her, blinking himself. She blinked again and looked around for just a moment, getting her eyes adjusted to the light. She stepped in when she noticed a small medicine bottle next to him on the counter. That would explain why she heard the cabinet door closing and how he had those capsules in his hand at that moment.

_Pain killers…_ Her eyes squinted a little, making sure she had read correctly, before looking up at him. She stepped closer, suddenly worried with her stomach twisting a little.

"Are you okay," she asked, voice soft – cautious, even.

He grunted while popping the capsules into his mouth with a small backward jerk of his head and washing it down with the glass of water in his other hand, closing his eyes. She watched as he thickly swallowed and she bit her lip at the slight bobbing of his Adam's apple.

He dumped the last bit of his water into the sink and bowed his head, making his somewhat bed-hair fall forward on his shoulders and cover what all she could see of his face. She observed while he just stood there like so and noticed his hands gripping at the sink…and the muscles in his arms were tense.

"That grunt meant 'yes' but you're really telling me 'no'," she muttered, stepping closer and gently setting her little hand on his tense forearm.

Within a second, it relaxed and he let out a sigh. She bit her lip again, only hard this time. That wasn't a good sign and twisting in her stomach persisted.

Before she could ask, he rose his head and looked down to her with a strained smile.

"Chest pain," he said, voice slightly hoarse. It was obvious to her then that he was in disorienting pain.

"Come back to bed," she soothed, extremely not fond of the fact that he was in pain. "I'll stay until four."

He began to shake his head, going against her suggestion, and she only shook her head right back and made it clear to him that she was staying the rest of the hour. He turned to her then, standing at his true height of six feet and six inches, an attempt to make her back down. She didn't back down, not with her height of five feet and two inches even. She usually wasn't stubborn, but that didn't mean she couldn't be so.

He frowned and sighed again, and it was only then did Rin realize that he was deathly pale.

Taking his sigh as a sign of surrender, she stepped to his side and wound her arm around his waist. "Come on," she gently pushed with a thin, tight smile. She softly kissed his arm. "Back to bed, okay?"

With another sigh and a nod, he settled his arm around her shoulders and they slowly made their way back to his bedroom.

"Did this _just_ start, or have you been keeping this from me," she asked as they settled back down in his bed. She couldn't help but be suspicious. There had to be more than what she was seeing. Usually she would've been able to notice such a thing – considering he actually _did_ look like he was in pain – but who knows. Though, she began to reconsider such a thing considering the obvious fact that she _hadn't_ noticed before and he looked a little dazed and confused. It was obvious that it had taken him by surprise.

But her gut told her there was a bigger picture that she _had_ to see and usually her gut was always accurate as much as her analytical skills.

"Are you implying that I'm keeping things from you, Rin?" He narrowed his eyes tiredly over to her as he rested against some pillows propping him up and elevating him.

She was indifferent; serious. So it was true. The pain had _just_ started. "It's not like I'm accusing you of cheating on me, for goodness' sake. This is about your health," she mumbled, slightly apologetic.

He turned his gaze to something else in the room. Quietly, he apologized by setting a hand on hers for seeming rude. "I made myself Italian for dinner and I suppose I'm paying the price for it."

_Italian, he says_, she thought as she looked down at his hand over hers, silent. She was weary, but she believed him none the less. She still had a nagging feeling in her gut, but when she looked up and saw how tired and pained he looked, she decided against pushing the matter for something that probably wasn't even there to push out of him.

And so, she turned her hand over under his and slipped her fingers in between them and squeezed. She would believe him.

But it was unavoidable to know that something was going to change.

**•** **Part One: E N D •

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**

**Just a new thing I'm working on. Yes, something's coming. Yes, it's going to be painful. **

**At least for me and Len. Eheh. **

**What? It's a drama, what do you expect? If you want to stay then please review. **

**Here's a preview for those who are hooked. O_o I assure you, not much happened in here but next time...whoo... XD**

: | . | :**  
**

**•** _Preview – Part Two **•**_

"Are you keeping something from me?  
"Let's review Romeo and Juliet, shall we?"  
"Why are you _here_ – after what I _did_ to you?"  
"I can't stop what's in my heart and you _know_ that. Why are you _pushing_ _me away_?"  
"Kagamine-sensai…are you okay?"  
"I am resigning and will no longer be your teacher for the rest of the year or in the future…"

"What if all we've been through…was just a lie?"  
"…W-what are you saying…?"  
"I'm saying, Rin, that you're _quite_ the _excellent_ lay."

**Dictionary - **

**Aishiteru - I love you  
Matsudai - Forever  
Hana - Flower  
**


	2. For the Last Time

Until The Last Breath

VOCALOID – 02

By: Chi~

**Disclaimer: I don't own because that's just how it is…? ;_;**

**A/N:** So, here's part two. Can't believe it, yeah? I've gotcha hooked? Huh? XDD

Aha~! I should just jump off a cliff just about now. X3 Anyways, love yea' guys – thanks sooooo much for reviewing.

Enjoy~!

Oh, and _yes_…you won't like this part…most of it you sorta will…then you'll just…well I don't know, I'm not you XD Tell me in a review so I get the jest of your feelings after this, yeah?

:o Oh, zomg, 9k words and twenty-three pages in word. Can you believe this? XD Zomg~!

_Read in ½ because…this'll blow your socks off with it's wonderful drama goodness…?

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_

Things changed as the days rolled by and before Rin could even really comprehend it, a whole two weeks had passed. And as each day had passed, all Rin could see was a growing _infection_ in front of her.

"Kagamine-sensei...are you okay...?" Rin looked up from her work, on to see her fellow red-head classmate, Miki, worriedly looking at her lover. Her eyes darting from the girl to the very man that was as pale and colorless as the very paper she was working on.

The "infection" was Len's seemingly persistent chest pain and whatever else that could possibly be going on.

The class fell silent from their low murmuring, looking forward to their teacher who tiredly looked up from the papers he was grading with a blank expression. Her brows furrowed as he pushed up his glasses and looked off to the side. Her grip on her pencil tightened slightly.

The others didn't know it, but Rin had long learned that the only reason why he would do such a thing - if they were to notice him do such was because...

_He's going to lie,_ she thought, right as his bright eyes darted back to the class. She turned her eyes back to the worksheet she was working on and grind her teeth together.

"I'm very well fine, Sakuranbo-san, just tired," he said and Rin suddenly glared at her assignment. She didn't like this. What the hell could he be lying about?

"Are you sure," Miki asked again, shifting in her chair. "You look - uh...sort of dead?"

_If he's not dead now, he will be later,_ Rin thought as Len let out a chuckle. She continued her work then, blocking out all that was happening around her. She was already tired of it. She couldn't hear no more without being overwhelmed with confusion and frustration.

Not only that, but concern. _Deep_ concern. She knew something wasn't right – not just from what she was seeing – but what she was feeling. She could _feel_ it. It was the same feeling she'd gotten that night just two weeks ago. Only intensified. And it sickened her more than anything because she couldn't do anything about it.

Len was in pain. It hadn't been as bad – last week had been alright and Len had been fine (he had been able to tolerate it). Now, almost every day during class or even their time together at night – he was _always_ pale and _usually_ in pain. And he was in pain.

It scared her.

_Len, what the hell is going on…?

* * *

_

• **| The calm before the storm. | •**

: | . | :

- **Part Two** -

"_Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly."  
~Proverb_

She was tapping her foot against that same concrete slab as she listened to the usual shuffle that sounded from the inside. She was never one to be anxious and she despised it when she was, but she had to see him. This _infection_ was driving her crazy. She couldn't even eat correctly; her stomach was twisted in so many knots. She just wanted to see him.

After what seemed like _forever_, the door finally opened and she quickly stepped in.

"Len," she softly hissed, right when he softly closed the door back. He blinked down to her before he sighed and started around her, as if he didn't care.

He cleared his throat as he started down the hall. "Yes, Rin, I know…" She followed him as he turned into the living room.

"Oh, _so sorry_ that my worrying only annoys you, Len," she bit out, watching as he slowly – almost carefully – sank down onto the couch, face slightly scrunching up in discomfort.

It took him a moment to respond after her leaned back and made himself as comfortable as he could possibly get.

"Songbird, please," he drawled, looking over to her, pale as a ghost. "I _know_," he paused as he set his feet and crossed his ankles on his coffee table. "I have an appointment next Monday."

He smiled with tired reassurance and she felt _some _closure. At least he would be getting help for whatever was causing him pain. That was all she'd ever wanted for him now and any time in the future. She couldn't do much, but…

She softly smiled back as he patted the seat next to him, silently beckoning her to sit next him.

_At least I can be there for him_.

"Good boy," she said softly, showing her suddenly eased anxiety and satisfaction as she stepped over to him and, with gentleness, straddled his lap. She affectionately leaned in and briefly kissed his lips as if she were rewarding him for his initiative.

Lightly, his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her to him, making their hips come in contact and her head to rest against his firm chest. She absently listened to his heartbeat, as it slightly sped up due to either her mere presence or their contact. Whichever, she didn't care, she just thought it was amusingly soothing.

"Little hana," she felt the vibration of his spine-chilling deep voice rumble against her ear, "I'm a grown man. Plus, I'm not stupid."

Her hands found themselves running up the fabric on his back as she chuckled, rolling her eyes to herself. "Are you _sure_?"

He lowly growled which made her flush and shiver and how both sexy and intimidating it was.

"Okay, okay," she giggled quickly. "Jeez."

His chuckle rumbled against her ear and she felt right at home – where she truly belonged – in his arms. Listening to his heartbeat and loving every single beat of life that began to make her beat in sync.

* * *

**•** **Two halves of a whole •

* * *

**

As the days rolled on, Len was the usual but still positive, which kept Rin at ease in some way. Through such optimism, there were times where she would just stare at him – be it as he teaches or sleeps – and she would wonder what their future be after she was officially an adult and out of school. Would they marry? Would they have children? How would her mother react when finding out her relations with her teacher when the time came to tell her?

So many questions about what more they would have together.

And then, during the pessimistic times – in the back of her mind – she would get a feeling in her gut again. That there was something more, right at that present time, and that she need to pay attention to that instead of the future.

[ Because it would change what has already happened. ]

She would be up-tight and confused on how to put the feeling to ease – to quench it – and she found no questions in her mind, but a cold feeling of suspicion in her chest. She didn't know what of…but before long, as Tuesday rolled on, she realized that such suspicious feelings were only meant for Len himself.

The core.

She felt her knew something she ought to know. Determination of the sub-conscious was not to be ignored or taken for granted, so even though she felt like she was over her head and making false accusations – she had to face facts that she needed to get to the bottom of whatever this was.

She didn't know why; she didn't know what (besides his sudden health condition as a clue), but…

Len was hiding something and she had to uncover it; push it out of him to see.

* * *

**•** **But the storm begins… •

* * *

**

Like usual, she traveled those few blocks and climbed those fences with two things in mind. One was to find out if he got a diagnosis and prescribed medication for his mysterious chest pain (or _something_). The next was the question she weirdly felt she need to ask.

_Are you hiding something from me?_

Usually, she would know why the hell she to ask something but she no clue this time. She knew there was a bigger picture, but she didn't know what of…

[ She did. ]

What could he possibly be hiding?

[ It was obvious. ]

She just didn't see the point.

[ For she was blinding herself. ]

It was probably nothing; just some weird feeling she probably read too much into because she was _always so technical_. This including her weariness of his chest pain – that could _very well be nothing_.

[ And running away. ]

After she tapped on the door like usual, she thought of she would ask him. Perhaps, as in a way of not alarming him (as much as it would in the first place), she would east the little question in after – perhaps – if they made love.

She pondered on such a thing as she heard that all-too familiar shuffle within the house – but her attention suddenly averted to the street-light next to Len's home that always provided her light ever single night.

She blinked as it flickered again. She tilted her head and looked at the other street lights along the street. The others weren't flickering – and yet, there it went again. _Weird_…Not to mention that she thought it was creepy.

She hadn't noticed the door open, so she was taken by surprise when she was suddenly tugged into the house by her sweatshirt sleeve.

"Oh, s-sorry, I saw someth-…" she trailed off as the door was firmly pushed closed behind her and noticed that her sleeve was still being held. A moment went by, it was quiet and something sunk within her when she became aware of the atmosphere. It was thick, almost suffocating, and she felt her heart begin to beat against her chest as she began to anticipate something. She didn't know what, but she had a feeling she wouldn't get any of her questions answered tonight. Not only that, but that she wouldn't like what would happen next – during _and_ after it. Whatever it was.

All she had now was an enormous question mark in her mind.

_Did I do something_, she thought right off the bat. She even dug through her mind for a second to see if she _had_ done something to spite him recently, but she quickly realized that even if she _had_ done something, Len would never be too cross with her.

And the aura that was rolling off of Len was more than cross. She didn't even know what the proper word was.

[ Resentment. ]

_What_ – she couldn't even finish the thought. The grip on her sleeve tightened and her arm was being held upward a little, so she couldn't break away from his grasp so easily. She wasn't in any pain from it, he would never do something like that – would never hurt her – but this was…

Out of confusion, she sounded a surprised squeak (something she'd never been fond of whenever she would get scared and taken aback) and looked from her sleeve to him when he began to tug her out of the kitchen suddenly. His grip had tightened – almost aggressively and she determined that if she were to try and break out of his hold, he wouldn't let up.

There was something wrong and by the way that she was being handled, she had a feeling that he wouldn't let her find out. Most likely, he wouldn't even give her a chance. But she was confused. She had the right to question, even if he didn't answer.

"Wha – Wha - ?" she tried to get it out as she was firmly tugged down the hall and forced to keep up almost cripplingly.

Before she could even produce a mere complete thought, she was practically thrown, with aggressive force, on the couch the moment they reached the living room, which only caused her mind to jumble more and cloud over in confused shock.

_Why?_ Having fallen front first, she couldn't tell what Len looked like or what he was thinking from what was displayed on his face and it was almost painfully obvious that he wanted it that way. And yet, she persisted, because her body had a mind of its own. As much as she didn't' want to accept it – she was threatened by Len and her senses were buzzing with self-defense. But she fought herself because this was no rapist – this was _Len_. The man she loved then her life itself.

He turned her over within a second's time and she took the time to try and lock her eyes with his, but his hair was covering his face. Her heart jumped and she felt something dissolve within her.

_Why…_

"Le-Le-…" she stopped when her shoe was suddenly ripped off her foot – along with her sock – and discarded. Not even a beat passed, the same happened to the other and she felt her breathing quicken when his hands, no longer gentle or affectionate, merely pulled both her usual black sweatpants along with the shorts underneath – even the underwear – off of her – leaving her bare. Her eyes widened and for the first time since she lost her virginity, she blushed in embarrassment, for she felt – somehow – that she was being degraded.

She shivered.

This was different. _Len_ was different.

The part of her that still couldn't stand for this kind of behavior caused her to tense up when he was suddenly hovering over her, seemingly boxing her in with his superior physique. His hands seemed harder than usual as he ran them down her covered front, caressing her with not even a passionate intent of warmth. His actions proved that he just wanted her – her body – and nothing else.

She let out a small whimper when his hands ran up under her shirts, boldly running his slightly calloused fingertips and somewhat sharp nails up her abdomen to her chest. However, when he began to roughly get her sweatshirt and undershirt off of her, she couldn't stop herself from making even the slightest effort to push his hands away. _Not Len_, she told herself as she big her lip, feeling nervous. Her resolve hadn't dissolved completely, but she was actually weary with what Len would do, now that she tried to push him away…

He stopped and for once she saw his eyes; his face. What she saw made her resolve shrink back completely – that and the growl that ripped through the back of his throat with a tone that was both menacing and warning. All he wanted was her.

Who was she to go against what her love desired? For him, she would always be willing. It didn't change that fact of things – and she still felt disrespected at the lowest way possible…but what Len wanted – Len got. So she would give.

She let him do as he pleased. This wasn't Len…but was still him. Therefore…

"Nn," she bit out after he set her breasts free of her black lace bra, taking one of them in his mouth and immediately fondled it – ruthlessly – with his tongue. She gasped as she turned her head to the side and arched at the sudden and rough intensity of his actions.

"Ah-Ahnn-," he had never done such things with such…Oh, she didn't' know what the word was. She just knew that – grudgingly – this was amazing and hard to not fall surrender to his mercy too quickly. Although, when she learned that was as his lips and tongue and hands ran over almost every bit of her flesh, she had no choice but to grip at whatever she could and endure every single thing he did. Completely and utterly surrendered to his every ability…

Even if his actions were not that of passion…but of _cold_, fire-igniting lust.

She was already panting deeply and open-mouthed, with clear saliva slightly rolling down her chin when she suddenly jolted from his next task. He had taken her by surprise when he spread her legs and his lips left the sensitive skin he had been heart-wrenchingly lapping at.

But she had jolted only because of the fact that he had bowed his head and proceeded to –

"A-Ah-!" She felt herself arch hard and her hands tighten on the cushion when she felt something wet run against her, taking the essence she had excreted from his early actions with it. But before she could formulate a thought, she felt this wet object run over her again, this time considerably hard and apply such pressure on her increasingly throbbing womanhood, that her breath hitched and lungs burned.

She gasped, "_Len_!"

And he only persisted by licking over her hard and ultimately _devouring_ her.

When he suddenly decided to push his very muscle inside her and stretch her, she cried out loudly which only intensified his actions and go deeper – stretching her more and making her tremble as everything else clouded over in her mind. She felt herself being consumed by lust.

She dug her fingernails harshly as he continued to caress her walls, feeling her heart pound in her chest and ears. Within time, her body began to produce a thin sheet of sweat. She was climbing, and climbing fast.

Len only persisted in speed, darting his tongue in and out – sadistically teasing her to where she was desperate and whimpering – _begging_ – loudly, clawing at his couch and practically in tears for relief – for _release. _

"L-Le-Len…_Len_, pleassse," she whimpered, clenching her toes to hang on. Her jaw grounded her teeth together as a shaky moan seeped through them. How she hated begging, even though she'd never have to _beg_ before.

However, she had to be reminded that this was Len's game and he would do as he pleased.

And so, when she felt him not only cease his actions and merely clamp his mouth over her, she understood that she had no freedom. Whatever else happened that night; it would be all him and _only_ him. After all, she had surrendered.

[Oh so willingly.]

Whatever respect she had from him or for herself completely left her right then. But this was Len – still in her eyes.

And she loved him. More than anything.

She felt her eyes tear up as he began to deeply hum, stimulating her with the vibrations that rumbled from the back of his throat. Her resolve was gone and she trembled and moaned long and loud – reaching her release. She wondered if he cared…

A large part of her told her he didn't and she wasn't surprised that doubt would be the overruling thought she would have that moment. But, damn it – he was the love of her life and she knew that she had to listen to the voice rationally reasoning that Len was breaking her down for a reason. So, she would believe that voice of hope, so deep in the back of her head.

_He still loves me_… she though as she began to drown in ecstasy – about to lose herself in the fog. _Everything of me._

"_More than anything…"_

She bit her lip hard, so close, but couldn't finish. He'd stopped and the tears that bead at the corner of her eyes rolled down the sides of her face. It was torture. Was he doing this on purpose?

However, after his humming ceased and his mouth left her…it wasn't long until the sound of a zipper ripped through the air.

She made a soft sound when she was suddenly turned on her side. More tears began to overflow from her eyes. _He's going to fuck me_, she thought. She didn't know if being left alone in arousal was the torture. But nonetheless, he could fuck her all he wanted – no long showing his passion in his intimacy and reassuring her love for her – and she would always be willing.

Because she was his and only his. And it would never change. Just as she promised almost a month before and many time before that.

"H-hn-," she gasped and breathlessly cried out when he kept one of her legs on his shoulder and plunged swiftly inside her with a light grunt. She trembled slightly, a tad uncomfortable from his size considering he hadn't properly prepped her for him. But at least she wasn't in pain, because she knew he wouldn't have mercy now that he was within her and sinking himself in – filling her up at such an accelerated pace. Her heart and lungs felt like they would explode.

She was panting in a high note when he profoundly began to pump at a slow pace, in and out. She felt herself stretch with each pump, which made her make small sounds at the back of her throat, beginning to feel overwhelmed by the synchronization.

"Ah-_Ahh-!_" And then, he began to get faster and harder, taking her by surprise once again. He wasn't going to wait; wasn't going to slow down just for her to catch up.

It drove her crazy almost immediately. He had never really done this before, not without patience and compassion. He just didn't seem to care this time and it made her feel worthless and…something of…a _tool_. But what was she to do in such a state now? She was vulnerable, panting, aroused, and beginning to get screwed out of her mind. There was nothing she _could_ do but take it, no matter how hard or swift – _merciless_ he was.

Besides, no one in their right mind would take such treatment without some sort of satisfaction. She'd be lying if she said she didn't like this.

And perhaps, she liked it a little too much…

"O-Oh-_Ohhh_-_!_" She was practically moaning and crying in a falsetto as he continued, thrusting quick and rough, stimulating her in a way that made her face burn and heart pound up into her throat. Len had always been excellent at pleasing her sexually, which she sometimes found peculiar since he had been a virgin when their relationship began, but this time – he was hitting her in just the _right_ spot and deep enough that more tears swell in her eyes in absolute pleasure.

Once in a while, he would make a gruff sound in the back of his throat, even moan lowly, but overall, he wasn't as vocal as he usually was. She was too out of it to really think about it at the moment, but she knew it was true. And she missed it. She missed being in more contact with him; usually, they were huddled and moving together when she they would have sex. Now, she was just on the couch, gripping the cushion in a death grip and projecting her vocals as if she were in pain; not in his arms, holding onto him and being showed in kisses and soothing words with a reassuring tone of sincerity. Their _love-making_.

This was only tell her that –

"_L-Lennn_-_!_" She jolted as she finally lost all control, taken by surprise from the sudden, early orgasm that shook through her from her core and caused him to have a sharp intake of breath when her wall constricted and clenched _tightly_. She shook as she shakily whimpered, feeling him release within her that moment, mixing their essences together for the very first time.

It felt amazing, really. But it just felt like he didn't care by doing just that.

_Heartless,_ she thought as they both rode out their intense orgasms, panting and sweating with that familiar musky smell in the air.

And it was quest as she calmed herself down, lessening her sobs from their rapturous release. Neither did anything else, just stayed as they were from what seemed like hours to Rin.

Then, as he leg was shrugged off his shoulder, his presence left as well and she immediately felt cold. He was done…what else would he do? What was left?

Before she could even open her mouth to say something, she heard the sound of a zipper being zipped back up and clothes rustling. Much to her horror, before a beat could pass, something was thrown on her. Something soft.

She sat up a little, dazedly looked at the fabric that was on her. It only took her a second to recognize it was clothing. _Her_ clothes.

Immediately, she looked up to him, feeling a plead on her tongue and a lump in her throat, hoping her wouldn't say what would break her completely, no matter how much she loved him.

But she couldn't see his face as he began to leave the room – as if nothing happened – or…as if he was satisfied and she was no longer needed.

Like trash.

Her eyes followed his back, in growing shock. And she pleaded until more, fresh tears began to swell in her big, blue eyes. _Please…please don't…_

However, the room seemed to lose all oxygen and she held her breath absentmindedly when he stopped at the door way and turned his bright, chilling gaze to hers.

And he said it.

"Leave." And he left.

She stared at where he had been, in shock, before she heard a door slamming closed and echo throughout the house. And she broke as the slam echoed through her, and touched her with its cold hand.

Alone. Shocked…and betrayed.

: | . | :

Was this the change she had anticipated?

_No_. To be quite frank, she didn't know what this was. Well, for a while she didn't.

After a few night of returning back to him, however, she understood.

_He's pushing me away._

His method of doing so was a little unorthodox to the usual "cold-shoulder" method she had read in many romance novels with a broken relationship. Instead of just ignoring her, he fucked her however many times or ways he wanted and made her feel threatened, used and trash that he could crumble up and throw away with just the simple command: "Leave."

And as insane as it sounded, she preferred it this way then the "cold-shoulder." Yes, she'd rather be fucked then ignored. Len didn't call her peculiar (once and many times after that) for nothing.

At first, she had to admit that he had hurt her greatly. She had been clouded by doubt after he told her to "leave," the first time. She had thought that he was finally showing his true intentions after all they'd done, said, promised and committed. It had scared her greatly and she had almost been consumed by her emotional reasoning then her rational.

But one night, as they shared a quite _violent_ climax, he broke and cried her name.

It had been music to her ears.

Throughout the whole two weeks after the night he threw her off into a void of confusion and rough sex, he'd never say her name during his climax. She was always the one who said his name – always projecting her love no matter how rough or cold he was with her during that time. He let him know that she loved him even for what he was doing.

She determined that such a thing ruined his plans of ruining all they had. Thus, caused him to be affected and ultimately become overwhelmed to eventually break as he broke her after those long two weeks.

His cry of her name opened her eyes and she realized that she had almost been fooled. Her hope was right. He still loved her more than anything, with passion, and was only trying to push her away through certain intimacy that would eventually (she had to admit) make her leave him.

And so, she didn't care about what he did to her after she realized this. The reason why he was doing it was what baffled her. What was he pushing her away for her? What was he afraid of her finding out as time went on and they were still together?

She wouldn't be able to find out. At least, not until he tried something else. She figured that if she didn't end it first, he had a back-up plan. And it wasn't very nice.

He would try to end it, and she would need to prepare for such a performance.

* * *

**•** **Deception of true love was impossible •

* * *

**

She felt it in the air that night. Something was going to happen and that same flicker of the nearest street light only confirmed it – that she believe in omens.

It happened quickly, like Len was in a rush to enforce this change. She wondered if she would be dreading this if she had been ignorant and illogical. Good thing she wasn't and had snapped out of her emotional irrationality.

She had to admit, though, she was uptight and taken aback when his back porch light blared on over her head and he was in front of her, with the door open and leaning against the door frame. He had a coy smile on his face and his glasses glared under the light, concealing his usually (as of late) cold turquoise eyes.

It made her uncomfortable. She had to admit. Then again, Len was good at theatrical performances. She wasn't fooled then, however, after the night he broke and she wouldn't now. It was her turn for manipulation. She would let him finish what he was trying to do and when he thought he had succeeded, she would surprise him just as he had done her.

And then, she would uncover exactly what he was trying to keep from her.

Therefore, let the show begin.

"Well – well, back for more," he stated, and it sounded dry and disgusting to her. _Oh, he's good_, she thought as she let it roll of her like water. If she had been as she was two weeks ago, she would be in tears by that very moment.

Quickly, she feigned confusion and widened her eyes at his glaring glasses.

He smirked and she did the same inside.

_Love him to death but he's pretty gullible._

"However, I have some unfortunate news for you, my dear," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

She figured that she was supposed to have a shocked face from that, so she did – thanking her theater partner, Miku, who coached her for drama club during her freshmen year. _Who knew it'd come in handy, especially under these circumstances. _

His grunt snapped her out of her musing after a moment of silence. "I have a question, though."

She made herself look like she was shaking – just so her acting was convincing enough. In a small voice, she murmured, "…what…?"

He smiled and it made her heart race. He was _very_ good. But she also saw him tense. No matter what, he would never be good at hiding his true self – and intentions – from her – no matter how clever he was about doing it.

She watched him take a soft, big breath before he spoke in a slight questioning tone.

"What if all we've been through…was a lie?"

Even though she knew this was all just a façade, she still felt her heart sink into her stomach and her blood run cold. Tears even prickled in her eyes.

She figured she didn't need to feign the pain she felt. _Just imagine if this was real_, she told herself and closed her eyes, actually feeling sick. _Oh God…_

She would've died if this wasn't only a sick game.

The tears had a mind of their own and fell as she looked up at his glaring glasses. There was a fresh lump in her throat so she spoke around it, for dramatic effect – to touch him more and break him more than she knew he already was. _Just imagine if it was real._

"…W-What are you saying…?"

His smirk was sharper within a second from what she could see through her tears, but she didn't fail to notice the _very_ slight tremble of his lip. He was truly convinced.

He was feeling the same as she would've if this were real, and it killed her to know that this was tearing him apart. But, due to his choices, it had to be this way.

It wasn't real; their love was as strong as it was when their whole affair started. And she would trick him to make him know that she would always be there.

_No matter what._

In a surprisingly strong, matter-of-fact voice, he exclaimed, "I'm saying, Rin, that you're _quite_ the _excellent_ lay."

She looked off, quietly crying. If this were real, she wouldn't slapped him. But she even knew that she wouldn't in the end, even if this had been real. She could never hurt him physically. Not a chance.

"…is that it?" she lowly muttered as she looked at the street light again, feigning indifference and glared at nothing to convince him further that she was falling apart and building back with hatred for him, which was probably what he wanted. He believe it, for he only chirped, "Yeeep – I'm bored~!" It was disgusting and a bastard move – the perfect one that would push her the rest of the way and fill with resentment. It was perfect.

_Too bad this is fake, huh, Len_, she thought as she looked – glared up to his glaring glasses. He was smiling. _Your best performance yet._

Her voice was a hiss as angry tears began to fall harder, like bullets down her face. "I-It was _fun_, then, you _fucking asshole_."

And she turned around, walking away from him for "the last time."

He laughed. More like a chuckle, but still, and she kept going, beginning to grin herself as she lessened her tears and walked.

_Your…_

His laugh turned hollow as she heard the door close.

_No_…

"Heh," she bit out before softly giggling to herself.

_**Our**__ best performance yet.

* * *

_

**•** **You're free to leave me •

* * *

**

"_Out of all I've read about teacher-student relationships, what we have is rare…isn't it?"_

"_There's a difference because I know for a fact that those _filthy_ romance novels of yours are _fiction_."_

"_Well, I _know_ that, you ass. I meant that ours is more _clean_ then those that I've read."_

"…_we just had sex doggy-style – how is that clean – OW! Rin! I was kidding!"_

"_Oh? So you get it?"_

"_Yes, damn you. Ours is different. _Very_ different. Because there's honesty."_

"_Mm."_

"_Plus, we're actually in love with each other and not just _fucking_."_

"_Hehehe…yeah…"_

"_Hn…"_

"…_Len…"_

"_Hn?"_

"…_I really love you…"_

"…_I love you too, Rin…more than anything."_

"_We're lucky…it's a shame, I guess…I'm not one to judge. I don't even know for sure…but this is just…"_

"_It's one of the miracles that are taught in so many books in so many ways. The one thing that's the hardest thing to find."_

"_A relationship of honesty and sincerity?"_

"_That and these strong emotions that are hard to interpret and difficult to ignore."_

"…_I feel that I would die for you, Len…if I had the choice…"_

"…_I as well…"_

"_I would never keep something from you."_

"_I wouldn't be able to even do that if I tried – your analytical skills are astronomical and I'm a terrible liar."_

"_Tee-hee."_

"_Feh."_

"…"

"…"

"_If I caught you in something…would you tell me the truth…?"_

"_Of course."_

"_No matter what…?"_

"…_Yes…"_

"_Even…if it hurts me…?"_

"…_Yes, songbird…I promise…with all I have…"_

"…_I love you…"_

"…_and I, you…"

* * *

_

**•** **But just don't deceive me •

* * *

**

It took his three days to completely break. Her class was surprised by his sudden absence.

She figured that that night – everything would be resolved.

In all truth, she was anxious to get this over with.

But terrified was also an appropriate feeling and she felt it greatly.

* * *

**•** **And, please… •

* * *

**

She decided that she wouldn't even attempt to knock. She'd brought a bobby-pin with her. Why not? She was already committing a crime and had been for over year.

* * *

**•** **Believe me when I say… •

* * *

**

It was dark inside, and she felt her heart pound up in her throat as she slowly pushed the door back with a soft '_click_.'

The air was still for what seemed like eternity until she realized he hadn't heard her and there – wouldn't investigate. So, she took a step forward and began to lurk in the dark.

She was slow with ears so open that she was surprised she still had good hearing after usually blasting her iPod in her ears when she was on the city bus to and from school. She could even hear the crickets of the night outside, even as she traveled down the core of Len's cozy abode.

That didn't matter, however, when she suddenly heard a _thick_ sniffle.

She almost jumped as her head snapped to her left. Then she realized. She was right next to the living room doorway. And that was where the sniffle came from.

_I'm back, Len_, she thought as she peered in, only to find him – with the light from the lit fireplace – on the couch, lying down and shaking so hard she almost though he was suffering from a seizure.

But no, she realized. There was a reason as to why he was so. He was sobbing. He thought it was over.

And it wasn't.

Tears gathered in her eyes as she took a step forward…

* * *

**•** **I Love You •

* * *

**

He had his face hiding within his hands. Sobbing his head sill, which made her hold him harder.

He had only broken more when she stepped in and crouched next to his weeping form on the couch, tearing up at his vulnerability. It broke her heart, seeming him like that. He had always been sensitive and could actually cry at a chick flick, and she had never liked it when he cried as much as he didn't like seeing her do the same. But this was different, and soon, she was sobbing with him.

Shed ran her hand through his hair with a shaky hand to get his attention. He shot up immediately, stalling his tears for only a moment to look at her before burying his face in his hands and sobbing more. She threw her arms around his waist and smashed her face against his middle since he was sat up then.

He shook in his sobs for what seemed like hours until he finally wept out, "Why are you _here_ – after what I _did_ to you?"

She tightened her arms around him and snuggled her tearful face in his shirt.

"It didn't work," she murmured.

He groaned. "Damn you," he sobbed weakly. "Damn you."

She lightly pounded her fist against his back. "Damn _you_," she said in his shirt, overwhelmed. It was so _good_ to have him back…but heartbreaking due to the circumstances. This was almost painful – it felt like it'd been years since the last time she saw the real man she believe was in there.

Perhaps, the reason why it felt so painful was because she was aching with pure happiness as well. It was time.

It was over.

Within seconds, she was sitting up and making him take his hands away from his weeping face. At first, he slightly struggled. But then he surrendered, too upset to put up a fight.

She knew he'd thought he lost her and what not – and she _ha__d_ hurt him just as much as he thought he'd hurt her – but when she saw his face and eyes, she knew he was crying so hard only about something else.

That something could only be one thing and she knew exactly what it was.

_He's cornered now,_ she told herself. _He knows he has to tell._

More tears gathered in her eyes. _What __**is**__ it? It's scaring me…_

[ But it had to be done. ]

She set her hands on his wet face and their eyes locked as her thumbs absentmindedly wiped at his seemingly never ending tears. He shook silently in his sobs, stared back at her with eyes that were filled with too many emotions for her to properly distinguish in even a few words. It was truly heartbreaking.

She cried. Let her heart pour. She was the one who had been hurt first and the worst, after all, and she'd never been able to really vent it out.

"I can't help what's in my heart and _you know that_," she choked, wiping more of his tears. All of a sudden, his hands were on top of hers. She cried harder. "Why are you _pushing me away_?"

And his arms were around her then, crushing her to his chest.

All she could hear as they wept together was, "Because I love you."

: | . | :

Only a hour later were they finally calm enough – feeling a little better after letting out so much cooped up emotion – and they just sat next to each other on the couch, quietly staring at the slowly dying fire.

She was sure it was killing Len, to have to come clean – his continuous tears were enough evidence to determine such – but she had to know _now_. It was killing her just as much as it was him.

The silence dragged on as they continued to stare at the dying ember until she finally – very lowly whispered, "Are you hiding something from me?"

He was silent for another beat.

"After all the trouble you went through and after all I've had to sort out as rationally as I could, without coming to hate you, I deserve an explanation," she demanded. "Not only that, but for you to set your mind at peace," she added, in all respect.

He actually chuckled. Then, he heavily sighed.

"I was hoping you hadn't noticed my slip – I'd even prayed…but I suppose this is my retribution for putting force such a difficult idea to get you away from what I have to tell you. It was foolish but in all desperation…I still made the attempt," he said.

She was quiet, but her hand found his shoulder. His soon covered hers.

"What is it, Len," she whispered, quietly urging him.

And he slacked against her hand, slouching. As in defeat.

. . .

After agonizing minutes that seemed like hours, he hollowly said, "I'm sick, songbird. Very sick."

: | . | :

She had to admit that she loved not being ignorant. But sometimes, she wished the truth was never true.

Especially when, mere days after learning the truth, she watched as he shakily tried to hide the contents in the tissue he just coughed out from his students. And they didn't know. They were innocent to the truth in front of them as much as they were to their relationship.

It was better that way, Rin knew. So much better that way.

But she was sick.

Oh so sick…

: | . | :

The next day was no different. She was too sick to even fathom an actual thought anymore.

"I know – I know – it's the last ten minutes of class but bear with me, " he said, surprisingly still strong even though it was obvious he was growing weaker in some way. He looked alright at the moment, but she could tell her was in pain and that he – most likely – felt ill.

She watched as he lightly coughed in his arm as he got out a book from his desk. He cleared his throat and she noticed him slightly grimace, for only a second, before he turned to his class and smiled.

She felt so sick…

"Let's review _Romeo and Juliet_, shall we?" He opened the book, pushing up his glasses as the class fell quiet.

They probably didn't get the reason why he would want to review the play they'd all read and studied when they were freshmen, but no one questioned it. They were probably too curious to question his logic. Though, the way that he smiled at it and flipped through the pages probably caused them to also not question out of respect.

They probably also noticed the change – at least, a bit of it. Len was still good at his acting, even though he sometimes looked or felt too sickly to hide it. Who knows what it was, but everyone was quiet and the air was still as everyone stared back at their teacher in interest. Rin was somewhat intrigued. It was as if they knew everything when they knew nothing at all.

After a few moments, he finally spoke.

"This is the most hastiest romantic-tragedy that may seem pointless to some, but I don't have a love for it just because I'm a lowly hopeless-romantic," he said softly, making a few laugh. He looked up then and set the book down.

"Someone give me a quick summary," he said and looked amongst those who rose their hand, eventually pointing to a certain red-head.

"Sakuranbo-san," he murmured and nodded. She cleared her throat.

"Romeo and Juliet fall in love with each other, which is forbidden and after events that separate them and ridiculous confusion, Romeo finds out Juliet is "dead" and sneaks back to Verona to…" she trailed off and Rin was glad Miki didn't say the last word. It was gruesome to her; gruesome and _cold_.

Len cleared his throat a bit after that and nodded. He turned his eyes back to the class and briefly shared a second of eye contact with her before he began to speak again.

"Forbidden love. Quite bittersweet. It leaves a horrible taste in my mouth," he scrunched up his nose and a few chuckled. He continued, "Now…why would he want to die as well? Why not keep living? Why die…_just_ because _she_ was gone? This is what I hear sometimes. The 'why' questions and 'I would…' statements," he stood up, setting the book down. She watched as he walked in front of his desk and sat on it, closer to the class.

Surprisingly…the atmosphere was just…connected…everybody was closer to each other and – most importantly – to their teacher.

"I doubt anyone really doesn't understand _why_ Romeo would do such a thing, but it's quite obvious that those two loved each other. _More than anything_," he looked off for a moment. "Juliet makes it so clear after he dies…they loved each other enough to die…if the other was gone forever…"

The class was silent as he continued to look off, seemingly in deep thought. By then, Rin just wanted to cry. Cry with all her being and just shut herself off. Weep until her soul was gone and there was nothing left.

Her eyes caught his when he turned his back to the class. "_That_ is true love. To where you would literally kill yourself if that one were to die. A love that is the most powerful and the most deadliest," he paused, looking at the floor again for a moment. "…I am not saying that you should commit such a sin if this were to happen – but my message is…if you love someone…love them more than anything with all you have – enough o die for them and I assure you…" he trailed as he looked up and began to smile.

Rin wanted to weep – oh, so much…

Their eyes met and her heart burned in her chest.

_God, I love you…_

"You'll have no regrets," he said then and almost immediately after, his eyes grew red and swelled with tears.

Everyone shifted in their chairs by the change of events, looking started as if snapped out of a trance. They still didn't understand…

Len held up his hand before any could voice their concern and confusion. He lightly sniffed and a few backs stiffened when a tear suddenly ran down his face.

He cleared his throat but it was still rough when he spoke calmly, "…I have an announcement…"

More backs stiffed as a beat passed and Rin wanted to just set her head down, shut her eyes.

Pretend it wasn't happening.

He breathed in a shaky breath, mouth in a thin line for a moment before a few more tears fell and he was softly – sadly smiling that _damn_ smile of his.

He slipped off his glasses, wiped his eyes. Took a deep breath. Then, he said what killed him, her, and everyone else in that room.

"I am resigning and will no longer be your teacher for the rest of the year," he paused as he slipped his glasses back on and cleared his throat again. "_Or_ in the future…"

There was an uproar of urgent questions, gasps, and shocked expressions. But Len only gave them a soft smile in response. The bell rang at the most worst of times a moment later and Rin watched as they all quieted down and reluctantly stood to leave, murmuring to themselves and to each other.

"It was a pleasure," she heard Len say as they slowly made their way out the door. Even though Len didn't clarify when he wouldn't be teaching anymore, they all acted like they would never see him again.

She looked at her desk. It broke her because she knew it was true…

"Kagamine-sensei," that soft, high voice that belonged to the redhead who had an odd love for spaceships – and was Len's star pupil – ran to her ears and made her look up right again. With a puzzled look on her face, she watched as Len gave Miki a questioning smile.

"Is the reason why you're resigning have something to do with your…current health," Miki questioned calmly, but with a trace of emotion. She watched as Len only looked away and down, neither denying nor confirming it.

Miki frowned and Rin's heart went out to the girl when tears swelled up in her cherry eyes. She had to admit that she was Len's favorite student (the girl had a…unique way with words – something that she didn't have) and they had a good bond. Even though she was sure Miki was for her three-year-long relationship with Hikari High's "samurai," she knew that the girl had a place in her heart for Len and instead of jealous, she felt respect for her.

Because she asked; because she cared.

And because she probably knew she would never see him again.

With a tear dropping to the floor, Miki bowed lowly and shakily said, "It was a pleasure, then, Kagamine-sensei."

Rin smiled at her desk from that. _A loyal student_. She respected that.

However, not a second later…

"Kagami-chan," Rin rose her head in surprise at the mention of her name with Miki's voice. She looked back at the redhead's eyes and blinked, silently questioning her.

Miki's gaze…

_N-No way…_

But Miki only smiled back and started for the door, right when the "samurai" with notorious lavender hair stood in the doorway. Rin watched her leave, listened to the "samurai" as he spoke, asking why she was tearing up and looking so sorrowful. Rin didn't know after that, their voices were drowned out by the rushing, ignorant students rushing through the hallways to get him. She only knew what that look meant; what Miki's eyes had told her before she left.

"_Take care of him."_

: | . | :

When the halls were almost deserted and they were alone in the classroom, Rin still did as she always did since they made up and the truth had been let out. After all…

She hugged her books to her chest.

He stared.

She stepped up to his desk.

Their eyes locked.

The air was still.

She kept her books to her chest with one arm and set her left index finger against the wood and she walked, headed for the door with her fingernail running against the surface.

Their mouths slightly curled upward and she tuned her eyes to the door, about to walk out of her beloved sensei's classroom.

Her hands shook as she rose her finger and…

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

She hugged her arms back around her books again, head bowed. She stepped out through doorway not a second later and down the hall towards the exit stairs only to hear…

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

She stopped this time, unlike the many other times before during the past year. Just for a second. Because this was special and she smiled at his response…

* * *

**•** **For the last time. •

* * *

**

"Bye-bye, Kagamine-sensei."

**•** **Part Two: E N D •

* * *

**

…

**DO YOU KNOW HOW STRESSFUL THIS THING WAS ALONG WITH SCHOOL WORK?**

**Ah, feh, whatever. As long as you read it. Thank you for that. I hope you really liked this installment. The next one…**

**:ehem: Anyways. The next one won't be out for a while, I have no idea. My honors class is just…raping me, so. Yeah. Until next to time, of course. Don't forget the preview, eheh. **

: | . | :

• _Preview – Part Three •_

"…utatte hoshii…"  
"Okaa-san…I have to tell you something…"  
"Have you ever wondered, Rin, what your purpose was – what was your destiny?"  
"How could you ask such a thing of me…?"  
"Please Rin, _please_…let me…"  
"Whether it be destiny or coincidence, no matter how _infuriated_ I may get…this was to happen…therefore…"  
"Imagine, Rin, two doves. Always together. Always intertwined. And then…one drops from the sky…what will the dove left do then…?"

"After all that has happened, and soon to come…please, songbird…please…smile…?"  
"…Anata ga waratteru…"

**P.S. - Who can guess where I got, "You're free to leave me but just don't deceive me, and please, believe me when I say - I love you," you from. : D 'll give you a guess: It's from a musical.**


	3. Shirabe

Until The Last Breath

VOCALOID - 02

By: Chi~

**Disclaimer:**** …*sigh* I seriously don't own. Like, seriously. Like, I'm cereal about the seriousness of this statement.**

**A/N:** Yet another hard part to write. Very hard.

…Uhm…if…if you cry easily…better get those tissue ready, yeah?

Okay…on we go, I guess. Enjoy…

_Read in ½._

_

* * *

_

**•** **The Beginning of the End ****•**

**

* * *

**

_Her heart pounded in her chest from those words. She was in shock, but not in shock. She didn't know what she felt. _Very sick,he says.

_It was quite obvious what he meant by that._

"_Very…v-very sick," she stammered lowly under her breath, looking off. "You…you're…" she looked up to him and he looked away, like he was ashamed._

_She slipped away from him, hands shaking with her eyes wide, heart breaking. _

"_You…there…there's nothing…?" She stared down at him as he looked at her. _

_He was silent, but she needed no words to understand what he was trying to say._

_Her hands somehow found their way to her mouth and she slowly shook her head as the truth began to _really_ sink in to her very core. _

_And her emotions began to wear away, making her slowly feel numb._

"_There h-has…to be s-something…" she trailed off, slowly setting her eyes on the round. "It can't…"_

_Through the corner of her eye, she saw him only shake his head and she almost fainted. Or screamed. Almost both. But instead, she continued to stand as deadly silence fell over them._

This can't be happening…

"_Tell me, then," she broke the silence with a shaky voice. She looked over to him as he looked from the ground up to her – their eyes meeting. _

_He blinked before reached out a little, for her. "Songbird, sit down – "_

_She turned away from him, stepping back with a shaking body. "N-no – don't do that to me!" She clenched her fists at her sides. "Just _tell_ me." _

_He slowly pulled back his hand, falling quiet again and lowering his gaze down to the floor. Her lips tightened as tears began to swell in her eyes. She began to shake more, seeming like she was cold. _

"_My God, Len…" she croaked and covered her face with her hands, truly in devastated shock now. "Just say it to me, clearly – I want to hear you _say_ it…"_

Please don't say it.

_There was a pregnant silence again before he finally told her nothing but the truth._

Please let this be a nightmare.

"…_There's nothing else to do, Rin…" he paused to swallow gravely. She closed her eyes, felt something tear within her. _

Please, I want to wake up…

"…_I am…going to die…"_

_[But she never did.]_

_

* * *

_

• _Shirabe_ •

: | . | :

**- Part Three - **

"_Shall I believe  
__That substantial Death is amorous,  
__And that the lean abhorred monsters keeps  
__Thee here in dark to be his paramour?  
__For fear of that I still will stay with thee  
__And never from this pallet of dim night  
__Depart again."_

_~ Romeo & Juliet,_ Shakespeare

Going back to Len, after what he said to her class and after what they did for the last time… Rin had to admit. It was hard. Everything was hard since Len told her the truth. Especially when she had to do the usual routine at night. Getting ready at eleven. Climbing out her window by eleven-thirty. And then, travelling to her love. _No_, her _dying_ lover.

Not a day goes by does she not relive the devastation of the fact that the one she loved the _most_ – with her entire being – was going to die. Just a year ago – almost two now – they were probably the most happiest people on Earth. Okay, maybe – _not exactly_ – but damn-well close.

And yet, there they were. Fate had made her rude awakening.

Rin didn't know what to do. Everything but their relationship was falling and combusting at their feet and she was getting both scared and tired of watching the flames burn away all that was their life then. And would there be anything within the ashes? Something worth living for?

She didn't know. She found it very unlikely, but she refused, as of late, to think about the future. She would cry when things, along the road, would come and go and when it was all over, then she would care.

Or, maybe not.

But, what was to come, was to come. Until then, she would be there for the only thing that made her believe that life really was worth living.

: | . | :

The hardest thing to do – travelling to his house. But just that day (more like day before), Len had to give up one of the most important things he had worked hard for in his busiest, young years. He could smile and do the last 'taps' with as much enthusiasm as he wanted…

But she knew. Whether it be the seven stages one goes through before death or not – she knew Len was angry.

No, _enraged_.

[And who could blame him.]

And so taking out her _key_ (he made a copy for her, which probably meant a lot more then it seemed and so she wouldn't have to break in again), she let herself in, expecting a bit of ruckus and angry muttering and filthy cursing, which Rin had found amusing many times before, but truly dreading his temper _now_. _Especially considering the circumstances…_

Her dreary thoughts halted when she heard a low cough from somewhere in the house. No muttering or heavy thumping (objects being thrown basically) or anything breaking reached her cars after that. She gently pushed the door closer and locked it.

Feeling slightly weary, only because she wasn't hearing anything else, she slowly crept through the house, which was only lit in the kitchen and…

_The light in the study is on,_ she thought as peeked out of the kitchen into the hall. And it was quiet? She wondered if that was a good thing as she stepped into the hall and got closer to the closed quiet.

Still nothing. And she didn't know if she wanted to knock either. But she would.

Always would.

"Lenny," she softly said questioningly as she knocked gently on the door with hr small knuckles.

She heard a far-off, almost uncertain grunt through the wood and she figured that that was her permission to come in. She opened the door slowly, peeking in until she got sight of him. And there he sat, tie untied, hair down and slightly disheveled, and his shirt mostly unbuttoned…and he just sat there staring, looking exactly like a man who had lost something very important to him and didn't have the faintest clue on what to do with himself.

Unfortunately, that was exactly what it was, too.

And, even more unfortunately, so much more than that.

Following his dazed, almost out of focus stare, she looked to what he was staring at and only felt like she had the day before – and any other day before that in the past week and a half. _Sick_.

A box that held the contents of his school desk was what they both stared at, and probably for a long time. It was such a cruel reminder, that they had really something very important.

An excellent teacher and a dream.

She couldn't help but reach out and set her hand on his shoulder.

For once, he didn't do anything but just sit there, and stare. Like if he just kept staring, something would change and everything would be right back to how they were just two months before…

"…at least there's only two weeks left of school…," Rin remarked, dumbly – she had to admit – but she needed to say _something_. These were…more than hard times. These were…_difficult_ times, for both of them.

And the scales of the difficulties, between both of them…it was hard to determine which was the greatest.

And so, this time, instead of a grunt, he snorted in acknowledgment and probably agreement. But even _she_ didn't know what to make of it.

. . .

And once again, she was struggling for something to say…but there was nothing.

Then again, what _could_ she possibly say to a man who was losing everything and was – above all – dying that very moment?

She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel worthless.

"Songbird," his voice had been so soft, she'd almost missed it. But she didn't, somehow.

"Hm?"

"…did I leave the impression I was shooting for at the end of class?"

Her heart choked her, but somehow, she was still able to talk.

"Very much so, Len. Your message was loud and clear," she spoke, from every bit of her heart that belonged only to him.

He was quiet for a long moment before he murmured, "...I suppose…"

She couldn't say anything after that.

_Len…_

And then began his questions that she didn't know how to answer…

"…Is it a bad thing to wonder why?" he asked.

. . .

"Why was I the one to have to be tainted by a disease that _is_ curable…but only to find out it was a different mutation I was stuck with?"

. . .

"Why did I relapse?"

. . .

"Why do I have to die?" His voice was dying and she had such a strong need to sit down. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that he was gripping at his slacks until his knuckle were white. And he was silent again – for a long time.

And then, he asked lowly, "Have you ever wondered, Rin, what you purpose was – what was your destiny?"

Not knowing what else to do, she said, "Yes."

"Destiny works in different ways – from a person's gift to very well their death. And purpose works, sometimes, the same way," he said, not moving – not glancing away.

She just stood there – still no knowledge of what to say.

[Who can calm a dying man?]

Better yet, though, he continued. "I'm twenty-four and I know both of these now. I was meant to teach – my purpose. And I was meant to die by this disease – my destiny."

Her head lowered, as if she had been scolded. She still couldn't say anything. She was only seventeen and she even knew he was right.

As her heart sank lower, he asked, "So, is it so wrong to just ask '_why_' and be selfish?"

She blinked lightly, furrowing her brows at his words. How could he ask such a thing…?

"Len, no," she said softly, leaning to him and wrapping her arms around his neck. "How is asking a question like that selfish when…"

He lets out a light sigh as her trailing words and she only feels his hand gently rest on her arm. They're quiet for a while, his thumb running over his thumb running over her skin slowly.

His voice was low, then, dangerously low, which slightly made her tense. Len usually used that tone of voice when he's very close to letting out his anger.

"_It's not fair_," he'd said.

_Oh, Len…_ She tightened her arms.

"No," she said, gently. "It's not."

The air grew thick, but not tense. Emotions were not overflowing and lashing out at her and the world.

"I'm losing my control on…my _life_. Slowly…it's turning into nothing and slipping through my fingers…" And that low tone of voice was gone and replaced by a voice of…sorrow. It cracks. "_It's not fair_."

_That_ was something selfish to say, but Rin couldn't help but to agree wholeheartedly.

"But no," he continued, curling his fingers over her arm, sounding almost broken, "I'd rather cry until I can't anymore then be so selfish…"

She opened her mouth to say something, but Len continued, his voice powerful now but still so…close to losing the person she had falling in love with over and over…

"Whether it be destiny or coincidence, no matter how _infuriated_ I may get…" his nails somewhat dug into her skin but she embraced it, because he was still there – alive – if he was doing this. "…this is to happen. Therefore…"

His head lowered and she did the same, their similar flaxen hair falling in their faces. Her arms tightened as Len merely began to choke and slowly shake – evidently beginning to sob…

"I have no regrets," he said softly and Rin only nodded, feeling his anger, sorrow, and overall – his fear.

He never showed it really, but why should he? After all, he was only human. After all, slowly, he was leaving the world as they know.

: | . | :

For the next two weeks, Rin's classmates during English period was always filled with glum. Rin was somewhat intrigued yet thankful and happy about this. Usually, if a teacher resigns or has to leave, high school students (especially those attending Hikari High) didn't see the need to care except for the ones who had a good relationship with said teacher). However, every student in that class were depressed and always murmuring to each other about Len. She had known they weren't happy about his leave and it she had expected that they would let the subject go before the very last week of school. But no, they had proved her wrong.

It made her smile on the inside, to say the least, when she realized and watched this. Len had really made an impact – on that very class and almost every Junior student of Hikari High that had been taught under him for the past two years. Something like that never really happens. Not with depressed students that reach over fifty in all – probably.

"_I supposed you weren't lying when I asked you that one time,_" Len had said when she told him this after the first week of his absence.

"_Why would I lie to you?_" she'd asked.

He'd only smiled.

The memory made her heart wrench.

It had been a long two weeks. The end of her junior year was closing very…_dreadfully_ (for lack of a better word) and everyone who had been a student of Len's may be in glum…but…

Rin was in despair. She couldn't try to hide it anymore. After all, she had not been just a student of Len's.

She was his lover. His soul-mate. His "songbird" and "little hana."

_The other half of his heart_.

[And vice versa.]

It was building, high up in her core and she was no fool. She couldn't hold it forever. She had wanted to. Just to tough it out and mourn when it was _all over_. What was to come, was to come and she would deal with it when the time came.

But, much to her displeasure and anger, she was only human.

Her loved would be dead soon, after all. She had to cry. She had to let it out. The last of Len's resolve slipped away the night of his last day of teaching. He was already at Acceptance.

It was her turn now. She figured she was probably going to go home and privately make a food of herself. _Let it all out_.

She was so happy so many loved him. But they only lost him as a teacher. She couldn't mourn with them – not very much, at least. She was worlds apart. Even if she wanted help with this – without Len knowing because she didn't want to show him her pain (that was why she hadn't cried after he finally told her, besides being in shock) for it would burden him – she couldn't.

She was alone with this and half of her was indifferent. She had dealt with things alone plenty of times. The other half knew this was different and that it was special.

It was best she had someone – not Len – that she could consult to – to get advice. Support. _Something_. Anything but to cry in front of Len who's heart would only shatter at the sight of her anguish. She _couldn't_ do that to him. She _refused_.

_There is no one_, she thought as she watched the clock slowly tick away – her last hour being a Junior. The last day of school. _Have to do this alone._

The students of Len's were a bit cheerful today, definitely because it was the last day of school. As soon as the long-hand landed on the two and the bell, they were all Seniors.

And she only inwardly cringed. Just a little. It was a reminder that Len wouldn't be teaching next year.

He wouldn't even be _alive_.

…And there it went; the final bell. Already Rin was a Senior. _Everyone _was a Senior! Jump for joy and throw a celebration.

She had once thought that. Now, those thoughts seemed immature.

Nothing really mattered anymore. Len would not be there as she experienced being a Senior. They wouldn't decide on future plans during that time, as she grew closer to the legal age for their relationship and marriage without consent. Hell, he wouldn't even be there at the ceremony of her graduation, secretly snapping picture as she was handed her diploma.

As her fellow students slowly stood, bidding the sub that sat at Kagamine-sensei's desk (looking so out of place) good-bye, she felt all that she used to dream about slip from her. Her future with Len. It was gone. And so, she worked on autopilot – deciding that she would do so until she stepped one foot into her bedroom and locked the door. Smiles and lies and everything. She wouldn't show her need to weep to these people. They had their own lives to live.

[_She had hers to die with_.]

She had only made it down the hall through the cheering and buzzing students when she felt a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. Halting, she turned to the owner of the hand and only blinked.

It was Sakuranbo Miki. Len's star-student. The only person who knew of her relationship with Len.

She blinked again as Miki took back her hand and smiled, almost sheepishly. "Sakuranbo-…san…" she wasn't on autopilot now. What could Miki possibly…

"Kagami-chan," Miki grinned then, softly. "May we walk together?"

: | . | :

"Don't fret," Miki said. They slowly walked along the sidewalk under the afternoon sun. Occasionally, a car full of instant Seniors blasting their music in a car would speed by without a care in the world. She peeked over her shoulder again to look at the school's "samurai" following them a few feet behind, close by but out of earshot. He was like a body-guard, practically.

"But…" she trailed, looking up to Miki with a cautious look in her azure eyes. "Does he know what you…?"

"He has an idea but my samurai respected me when I told him you might not favor me telling even another soul," Miki said. "Don't fret."

Rin blinked and looked down at the ground. Relieved, still. "You really are loyal to Len."

"I don't believe his occupation or legal affairs would be jeopardized as of late even if I decided to spread the truth."

"I suppose not."

"In addition-uh…it wouldn't be so nice to you, Kagami-chan."

Rin peeked over to her through her hair, head still bowed. The girl was peculiar and she could see why Len found her speech pattern unique. When she was explain something – or stating the obvious – Miki spoke quite formally and with a knowledgeable dialect. But when the girl was speaking casually, her airy personality kicks in and her sentences are usually broken apart by 'uh's and what not.

There was no doubt in her mind that Miki was definitely an intelligent, respectful, and sweet person that every seemed to underestimate. Len hadn't done so and Rin could see why, now.

"Thank you." She would never doubt Sakuranbo Miki again.

"Of course…" Miki trailed for a moment. She continued a second later. "Kagami-chan, how is Kagamine-sensei?"

Rin lightly messed with her lip. "He…he's fine…" She swallowed. Remember that she really ought to get home and… "He's fine, for now."

There was a pause and she was sure Miki was nodding.

"…I saw…um…what was in his tissue, that one time," Miki said. "…I'm shocked that he has a consumption at that point when this is the twenty-first century."

_Yeah, imagine that,_ Rin thought as they continued. She didn't say anything. She needed…she just wanted to go home and she wanted to see Len.

"Kagami-chan," Miki's hand was on her shoulder again, all of a sudden. They stopped.

Rin didn't say anything. What did the girl want? She wanted her to get it over with. She wanted to go home. To go yell or scream – anything to relieve herself of the sorry she had foolishly let build over the past month.

She was very tempted to roll her shoulders, rid herself of the girl's hand and merely leave Miki and her "samurai." Miki was sweet and she respected her, but what could the girl possibly do? She knew of her relationship with Len. So what? Like most people that she'd observed, they either would've told – or kept to themselves – moved on with their lives. Surely Miki, no matter how sweet she was, would just move on…

…Right?

Her shoulder was gently squeezed. "Kagami-chan," Miki beckoned out her out of her thoughts and she turned, the vibrant color of cherry. They softened when their gazes connected. "Kagami-chan…do you love him – just as he had told us to do, two weeks ago?"

"_But my message is…if you love someone, love them more than anything with all you have – enough to die for them…"_

She couldn't even control her knees when they buckled and the dam had broken in her eyes. And Miki was there to support her. She clung to her instantly, shunning herself _hard_ through the tears…

How could she have been so stupid – so proud – so blind? Miki had more to do with this then she could bare.

Miki was her support for she had no one else to turn to at that moment.

They both slowly sank to the ground and Miki held her to her, rubbing her back comfortingly – almost maternally.

Miki only murmured, "I see," as Rin completely lost herself and broke.

Broke into a million broken pieces…

: | . | :

"How long…?"

Somehow, Rin couldn't even remember, they had moved to a near-by bench that happened to rest on the city's notorious Sakura trail. The trees were a lush green during that season though, but after being blinded by tears and clouded for what seemed like hours, Rin found them comforting – surprisingly.

She blew into the tissue Miki's "samurai" (who she finally learned the name of – Gakupo Kamui) had provided her and closed her eyes as a soft breeze wafted around them and ran through her hair oh-so gently. She imagined Len doing the same thing and sighed. She opened her eyes to reality, then, and frowned. If only life were like that. Len stroking her hair instead of this. But this was reality, after all, and she knew she'd have to accept it wholeheartedly sooner or later. "A little over two months, he told me. Be lucky if he…lived up to three…"

Miki breathed out and she heard her murmur something. She wiped her nose, sniffing.

"I still find it difficult to believe that there's nothing left to be done," Miki said after a long silence.

Rin slightly nodded and wiped at her leaking eyes a bit. "Len was diagnosed with it when he was twenty after a trip to Asia. He had to take a long course of medication for two years. He had…had complications with most of the drugs – some had been unresponsive and others with terrible side-effects. He said it had been a miracle that some of them worked and "cured" him…"

Miki was silent for a moment. "…And then he relapsed?"

Rin nodded. "It had only been an infection at first, He hadn't had any symptoms then. And when he was done with that long course of medication – those long two years – the tests had shown that there was no bacteria forming in his longs…little did anyone know that it was only hidden – all until now."

Miki breathed out again, long and hard. "An unusual mutation, it seems."

Rin nodded and wiped at her eyes again, as they swelled with more tears. "…And so, he's screwed. Once you've gone through a course of those drugs, you can't take them again. It's Multi Drug-Resistant Tuberculosis now…he can't take anything to help him…to save him…" The tears got faster. "there's n-nothing left to do…"

"…Experimental drugs…?"

Rin shook her head. "There _are_ programs – believe me, I've done my research – but they're expensive for the government and it's quite obvious that Len would rather die then be a lab-rat since he's known what he has and that he's going to die for the past two months. But did _I_ know? _No_. Oh, it doesn't matter anymore…because besides," she turned to the redhead. "He has the cough and the symptoms are getting worse. It…it's _finished_."

Miki reached out and squeezed her should again, just as gently as she had the last. Her eyes were pained; Rin knew this was hurting her very much.

"Has he called hospice?" Miki asked then, looking off as she took in all this information.

Rin shook her head, slightly choking on the still-formed lump in her throat. "No…" she trailed softly, feeling like she sounded like a child. She swallowed. "Sakuranbo-san…"

"Miki."

"_Miki_-chan," she sniffed. "I…I need to be with him – when _it_…happens and every step of the way. My mother doesn't know and sneaking over at night is – _just the thought_ – unacceptable. Wha-what do I do…?"

Miki lightly blinked. "Rin-chan, you're practically an adult. Even the law can't really do anything. The same goes with your mother," she said.

Rin blinked back. "But, she's my mother. I get the law circumstances, but she's still my mother…" She lowered her gaze. "…I can't just up and leave…really…"

Miki looked back her then, serious. "However, the truth needs to come out either way. There's no time to hesitate, Rin-chan. _No time_ at all."

: | . | :

_(A/N: Now, take a break and drink some juice – dry your eyes. There is more to come.)_

: | . | :

She heard him slightly hold the phone away from himself as he coughed a bit, something that he did regularly now and something she had already gotten used to. When he was done, he cleared his throat before voicing an apology and speaking. "Well, songbird, I think you should do just that. I don't mean to sound selfish-"

"No such thing," Rin interrupted. "It's about time Okaa-san knew; Miki is right. This will be the only way I can stay over there – with you."

Len was quiet for a moment and she took the opportunity to put him on speaker-phone as she began to change.

"…I wonder how she'll react to the fact I'm seven years older…" he sounded slightly amused, yet sheepish.

She snorted as she unbuttoned the last button of her school shirt and threw it in the hamper. "The fact that you had been my teacher and we had had _sex_ during that time is what will make her blow up."

Len snorted as well, but with a soft chuckle. "The irony."

Rin grinned softly as she reached back and pulled down the zipper of her uniform skirt. "Oh, and imagine how she'll smile when I tell her we love each other. A friggen rainbow will form."

"Peace on Earth. I'll have to unlock my door when it happens – she'll want to spread the peace within my home immediately."

She smiled brightly with a giggle leaving her lips and he chuckled, but after she had shut the drawer – which had projected more of an echo in her room then her giggle had – Len stopped and paused.

She blinked to herself as she pulled a loose t-shirt over her head, questioningly before his voice broke out, "Am I on speaker?"

She began to softly giggle, and he groaned.

"But Lenny – you sound so _sexy_!"

"Songbird," he actually whined. "It's impolite though!"

"But I can't get enough of you!"

He merely groaned, amused, and she knew his cheeks were colored and he was somewhat palming his face. It made her smile more, eyes full of love and adoration even though they weren't even in the same room.

_I love you so much…_

She started for the window, looking at the afternoon sun before she closed the blinds. She stepped back over near the phone during their comfortable silence and she slipped on a pair of jeans.

"I'll be over in a minute, Lenny," she said with affection as she looked in the mirror and absentmindedly brushed her somewhat short flaxen hair.

She heard him shift the phone, not answering and she blinked. Silence.

But that changed a second later.

"Rin," he said softly. "If your mother rejects this idea…"

She wouldn't hear it. She picked up the phone after brushing her hair behind one ear. She turned off the speaker-phone. "Len, I don't give a shit if she rejects the idea," she said. Her tone was sharp – with no room for an argument. "I told you, I'll always be there. Nothing will stop me. _Nothing_."

: | . | :

Rin thought long and hard about how she would break this news to her mother. During their precious time together the afternoon and night before (they had used it to their advantage since her mother had double shifts), Len had suggested a nice, mature front. This had caused a slight banter between them with Rin questioning incredulously since when was she _ever not mature_ as of late. 'Course, Len had to exasperatedly explain that he had only suggested to have a dead-serious front – so her mother would sense her sincerity on the subject. Although she still felt a little underestimated, she agreed and merely told him that he didn't even need to suggest anything.

After all, this was very well common sense. All she had to do was be how she really felt. Strong, with her mind made up and not taking 'no' for an answer.

Nothing would keep her from her dying love, definitely not during his time of need and of support and care, all up until the end.

Not even her mother.

And so, she dug out her luggage bags and began to pack about three weeks worth of clothes. And she wouldn't stop until she was finished. Even if her mother commanded her to cease when she found out the truth or even before that.

Rin Kagami was serious and her mother would learn that it was best never to underestimate or doubt her when her mind and heart was set on something. She knew exactly what she was doing, after all.

She was halfway done with packed when her mother returned from her two exhausting shifts. She peeked over to the clock on her nightstand, distinguished that it was already noon. She frowned, felt a bit of guilt run through her because he mother had to come home and deal with this after a long night at the hospital. Her work as a nurse always exhausted her and now she had to deal with her dead-set daughter who's about to go off to her dying boyfriends for the summer no matter what she said.

Rin sighed heavily as she began to pack her hair products and toiletries. It was going to be a long few hours, she knew.

She was in the middle of folding her pajamas when her mother stepped into her room, chiming a hello all before stopping dead in her tracks.

Rin took a deep breath as she set her nicely folded pajama set into the suitcase. _Here we go…_

"Rin, what," her mother started before she got almost an outraged look on her face. "What the hell are you _doing_?"

She paused in her packing. "Okaa-san…I have something to tell you…"

"I imagine that you do," her mother stated quite incredulously and sharp. "What the _hell_ is this, Kagami Rin?"

Rin gulped at that but continued folding and packing. "I need to leave…for a while."

Her mother scoffed, rolling her eyes, coming to the wrong conclusion. "If you wanted to go on vacation this summer – and this is soon – you should've told me-"

"No, no," Rin said, stopping and looking her mother in the eye, extremely serious now. "_I_ have to go…for something important."

She watched as her mother caught on and her brows furrowed in slight confusion. "What the hell are you saying – you have to go? For something _important_?" She paused, looking off for a second before her eyes widened. "Is this because of a…boy?"

Rin reached up and lightly scratched the back of her head, mustering up the courage to correct her. "I…n-not exactly…"

Her mother blinked after a beat. "A…girl?"

Rin palmed her face, paling at the thought and wanted to retch. This was taking the wrong turn. It was almost comical when it was supposed to be serious.

"No…" she trailed, shaking her head slowly. She looked at her mother again, dead-serious now. "A…man."

Her mother was the one who paled this time. "_What_?"

She swallowed hard, cursing her cheeks as they began to burn and probably color. "A-A man…he's…twenty-four," she stammered.

Her mother's red brows furrowed more and she watched as she slumped a little, as if the confession put weight on her shoulders. A shocked expression was on her face and she just stood there.

Rin swallowed again as she blinked a few times, slowly during the silence. But all the while, her face began to turn red and Rin knew.

Kagami Kumiko was furious.

"Are you _telling_ me…that you have had a boyfriend – a _man_, may I add – and you _never_ told me?" Kumiko lowly asked – dangerously deep. "Not to mention a _man_ who is close to ten years older than you."

Rin turned to her fully, calm and dignified. Her palms were sweaty and her hands were shaking, but her head was held high. She had to prove that she knew what she was doing and that she wasn't some stupid kid anymore and hadn't been since she was thirteen.

She was in love.

And her lover was dying.

"_Seven_," Rin corrected her. "And-"

Kumiko interrupted her, voice raised and bright green eyes no longer shocked but full of fire. "I don't give a flying _fuck_, Rin! He's a _man_ and you're just a _girl_ – it's against the _law_."

"Not anymore," Rin defended.

"But it _was_!" Kumiko pushed her bright red-blonde hair out of her face in a furious huff. "Have you two fucked yet?"

Rin almost flinched. _Almost_. "_Made love_," she corrected her, voice always soft. Mature and keeping up her head. She knew her mother would fall off the wagon like this.

Kumiko _snorted_. "Do you _love_ each other?" She rolled her eyes, exasperated now.

Rin breathed out _hard_ now. That pissed her off greatly, she had to admit. But she didn't lash out. No need to, really. "Very much so."

"You don't _know love_," Kumiko shook her head. "You are _too_ young and he is _disgusting_ for – "

"Then I care about him very much," Rin snapped, unable to keep from lashing out, not when her mother was judging Len. She would _not_ stand for it. "I have a deep emotion for him and I respect him. _You_ don't even know _who he is_."

Kumiko shouted, furious from her daughter's sudden menacing and sharp tone. "Then who is he, Rin? Because I don't know! I don't know _anything!_"

Rin's hands curled into firsts at her sides. "_Kagamine Len_." She had shouted it back, face flushed in fury. "And yes, the very one you're thinking of. My former English teacher," she growlingly added as Kumiko's face immediately seemed shocked again.

With a shaking form full of anger, Rin turned back to her luggage and began to fold the last of the pajamas she planned to bring. "Call me what you want, I won't even bother trying to justify that my grades were not tampered with because of our relationship because t just sounds too unrealistic, doesn't it? But know one thing, he doesn't deserve to be called anything. _I_ know human behavior and from what I've seen, I have determined that he is a very good man. I admire and adore him.

So, whatever you may think, _I don't care_. This is no time to lecture or get into a fight with me. That won't change the present _or_ the future," she said as she roughly continued to pack and Kumiko just stood in a fog, lost in her thoughts and shock.

She stopped as her azure eyes filled with pain. She ought to just say it and get it out there during this time, when her mother was slowly digesting what she had just said. She turned to Kumiko, gripping at the open sides of her luggage in almost a death grip, seemingly.

"Okaa-san…he's dying…" her voice was soft now, vulnerable even. "I _have to _spend the rest of the time he has left with him. I don't care what it takes – _I know_ what I'm getting into." She gripped harder. "…I _want_ to…"

"Rin…" Kumiko watched her daughter for a moment, her eyes slowly growing clear and back to normal. Alright, Rin had proven her point. "…I-I understand…I just wish you had told me sooner…"

"I'm sorry for sneaking behind your back for the past year…" Rin trailed, sighing – because she was. She hadn't enjoyed sneaking and neither had Len due to the importance of watching the clock and plotting, like they were crooks of some kind. Plus, many times over the past year, she would be filled with the urge just to confess that she was in love with a beautiful man.

"…It's understandable, Rin…" Kumiko trailed, watching her face closely. "…you must really love him…" She got a far-away look in her eyes for a moment. "…This must be very hard for you. I…I'm sorry I yelled…"

Rin nodded, closing her eyes in obvious relief. The showdown was over. "I'm sorry for yelling back…"

Kumiko merely shook her head, that far-off look in her eyes still there before she looked to the ground. "…How long does he have," she asked after a moment's pause.

Rin's hands tensed more. "Two months…three would be miraculous…"

"I see," Kumiko breathed and looked off more. "…I can't believe this…"

"I can't either," Rin murmured, looking down at her clothes. "…I'm packing to spend my summer with my dying boyfriend. So I'm there until…the very ending…"

"_Matsudai."_

Kumiko stared at the ground for a while as Rin shook her head, lowering it.

. . .

"…Well, you're packed," Kumiko started at least for a few moments after a deafening silence. "I won't stop you."

Rin nodded slowly and sighed softly, as if in relief. "…Thank you…"

Her mother merely crossed her arms over her chest and softly scoffed, looking off with a bit of a defeated and betrayed expression – along with traces of sympathy in her eyes.

Rin looked at her, troubled now that the hardest part was over. Her mother's resolve was defeated and even though she felt guilty, she still knew this was the last step to be done. "Now, Okaa-san…this is where I need your help…"

Kumiko looked at her as if she had grown a second head. "How could you ask such a thing of me…?"

She shook her head quickly, reading her mind. "No, I mean with an excuse to why I'm not at home. For anyone who wants to know – friends, family. Just say I went off to a distant relative in the states or something. That I had to leave at short notice and didn't have the chance to say good-bye," she explained, reassuring her mother that that was all she needed help with. "Taking care of Len will be my job, of course."

Her mother listened intently until she slowly began to shake her head in understanding. "I see," she murmured. She sighed after a moment. "Alright then."

Rin sighed again, a weight lifted off her shoulders now. "Thank you, Okaa-san. Thank you so much."

Kumiko nodded again, but a serious expression drew on her face. Rin's heart jumped in her chest when she opened her mouth a beat later and said – "On one condition – I want to meet him."

: | . | :

"He lives only a block from us?" Kumiko asked incredulously as she pulled up the drive way of the Kagamine residence. She put the car in park; looked at the house with an equally incredulous facial expression. "The past year must've been a field day for you two."

Rin began to unbuckle her seatbelt, giving her mother a somewhat dirty look. "Would you please _stop_ it? I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay?" She roughly opened her car door, tone getting shaper. "It doesn't change anything now so just let it go."

Kumiko got out as well, just as roughly after she turned off the car. "It's not so easy to, Rin. I hope you _understand_ that, at least."

Rin made an impatient sound as she started for the trunk of the car. "I can't do anything about it, Okaa-san," she said exasperatedly, runner her hands up in her hair. "Except tell that I'm sorry for now."

Kumiko came up next to her and didn't say anything. She unlocked the trunk as Rin merely closed her eyes and breathed out, trying to calm herself. It had only been an hour since their showdown. Her mother had agreed help her, but of course she still had to make this a big more difficult – and it wasn't because her mother wanted to meet Len (she could care less).

No, no…the difficulty in this was her mother's persistent – smart-ass – comments. It was truly driving her insane. She just wanted to get this over with and begin her briefly – long time with Len for the summer.

They worked together in getting her luggage out in silence – finally. It seemed that her mother realized that nothing would change, no matter how much she complained and commented or how many times her daughter apologized. Rin wondered how her mother could be so difficult. She understood that she had been hurt – but that didn't mean she had to hold it against her – _still_. After she had agreed to help.

But that was her mother, she supposed. At least she was quiet now…

"Rin…" or not. Rin looked up to her as she shut the trunk, all of her luggage out.

"…?"

Green met blue. "…I love you…"

Rin blinked a little, somewhat confused, but she smiled nonetheless. "…I love you, too, Okaa-san."

Her mother looked off somewhat, looking apologetic. "…I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so selfish. It's not like you haven't hurt me before. Besides, look at where we are," she gestured to Len's house. "We're outside your dying love's house…"

Rin watched her, listening and heart jumping in her chest. _Okaa-san_…

"…I forgive you. You're my daughter…" Kumiko looked back at her then. "…And I can't believe you have to go through this at such a young age, but you're right. Nothing will change and I should just stop…So…"

Rin smiled more and merely stepped to her, wrapping her arms around her. She understood.

"Thank you…so much…" she felt tears in her eyes. "…Mama…"

Hre mother's arms enveloped her and she basked in it. She had made up for it. That much was certain.

Tears overflowed and soaked into her mother's shirt when she felt her lips on her ear, whispering sympathetically, "I'm so sorry…"

: | . | :

It had all passed in a haze.

Len welcomed her mother as if she were family and he wasn't shy. He had to pause and cough once in a while and he looked quite tired and pale, but he kept talking, cracking jokes, keeping up a good atmosphere. And her mother respected him and even – probably – treated him as if he were her son, which made everything so at ease…it was as if…

Rin looked off, still looking at the driveway even though her mom had left at least two hours before. She softly sighed.

It was as if this were under different, considerably better circumstances.

She could only wish though, of course.

She turned away, just as familiar arms warmly wrapped around her shoulders and her hair was caressed by lips. She slightly smiled.

Only slightly.

_This was only just the beginning._

_

* * *

_

**• ****June •**

**

* * *

**

They truly were meant for each other. Living together was like eating a moist cake. Easy. Perfect. (Almost.) They talked. Laughed. Joked and made love. Cleaned and ate. They lived in ease and love – like a real married couple and above all, they were _happy_. They were on their own little cloud and the rest of the world didn't matter. They never went out, of course, and sometimes – they would just watch the neighbors as they lived outside. (They had the tendency of voicing silly comments with the people's moving mouths.

Truly, it was the best time of their lives…

But it was quite obvious that it wasn't going to last. Every time Len coughed or slept so much that he had to be up all night only reminded her (and him) of what was to come. Time was short.

_Too_ short.

Slowly, Len began to lose his appetite and there was, usually, never and color to him. He was like a ghost, almost. His coughing sometimes persisted and, always to her horror, blood would be in more and more of the tissues he coughed into. She'd sometimes look at them with a turning stomach, whenever she saw them. That was until – and it happened rarely – it would get violent and there would be times where she would stand outside the bathroom they shared, listening with an agonized expression on her face as he choked, wheezed, and vomited.

Len never let her see him like that – when he was at the worst of that little while. She had to admit that she preferred it that way and let him shield her from the worst of his condition.

But what she loved the most was that, even through it all, Len was always smiling and putting off a calm atmosphere like what was happening didn't' matter. It kept her in high spirits with him. Positivity, it was always good and they helped each other whenever the other would fall (whenever that happened, for they were still only human).

They cried together and healed each other. They were a unit; they were the closest they had ever been – even during the year they had been together.

They were truly…one.

: | . | :

"Rin, come here," Len called from his study one bright day during the third week of summer. Rin stopped her concentrated mopping (Len had become a bit weak to the fumes of cleaning products and the labor so Rin had took upon herself – after a long argument – to do the house work) and set off to her lover, fussing with the bandana one her head keeping her hair out of her face. _Goodness, I feel like a house wife_.

"Hm," she hummed questioningly, poking her head inside.

He tiredly grinned in greeting over to her before beckoning Len to come closer. "I found something."

She stepped over and noticed a box on his desk as she got closer. _Déjà vu._ She blinked in interest. "Is that what you spent half the night, digging around that dusty attic until you were wheezing for?"

Sheepishly, he grinned up to her with a glint in his eye. She scoffed.

"What was so important to where you had to waste more precious breath, Len," she asked, looking at him almost scolding. Now she _really_ felt like a wife, scolding him like this and making him somewhat humbled (even though she knew he definitely _wasn't_). She sighed as he turned away for just a moment, getting something from the box. _Len…_

Precious times and moments like these…she would never forget them…

"Little hana, here," he said and he turned to her and held out…

Her eyes bulged out her head, mouth immediately falling agape. Her heart came to life in her chest and ached. She felt tears burn her eyes and she had to close them to gather herself. "Len," she choked.

Through her blurry vision, she only saw him smile that beautiful smile of his. She felt him set it in her hand. She turned her head away, closing her eyes.

"Rin," he murmured softly, turning his chair to her. Her hand clutched at the object and tears began to fall without her control as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap.

"Open it," he whispered into her hair as he kissed it. She trembled, curling up against him and uncontrollably – softly – sobbing.

"No," she softly whimpered, shaking her head and rest her head on his chest. She want to open it; she didn't to see what was inside.

What was usually inside a blood-red velvet box, anyway?

Gently, he cooed at her and got the box out of her little hand, smiling. He murmured little sweet nothings in such a soft voice, she calmed down enough to look up to him with a pleading gaze.

"Len," she whispered, shaking her head. "Please…"

"Rin," he said, looking back just as pleadingly. "I love you."

"I know but don't," she pleaded, shaking her head harder. Tears continued to spill. "_Please_-"

"Rin," he brushed back her hair, silencing her. "I wouldn't just do this just so you're an instant widow…I just want to make a vow."

She sniffed, slightly frowning in defect she understood now – this was just a promise of some sort, with a ring, apparently.

This was a heartwarming, beautiful idea – but all the more heart breaking.

[They would never truly be able to get married.]

More tears welled in her eyes as she merely surrendered to the idea and nodded slowly, looking down to the box in his hand and curling more in his lap. She whispered her permission.

He kissed her forehead as he obliged and used his thumb to open the box. They both watched as the top snapped up and showed exactly what was inside. She softly gasped.

"This was my grandmother's," he murmured, watching as she stared at it, absolutely amazed, it seemed.

"Its huge…" her breathed out, watching him get it out of the box. She sniffed and wiped her eyes as he held it closer to her with care.

"She was a small lady – here – let me…there," he said as he slipped of her left hand. "I figured." It fit perfectly and Rin knew that was probably the closest she'd ever get to wearing an engagement ring traditionally. He continued. "As I was saying. She was small but – apparently not small enough in the figures."

Rin stared at it, a flush rushing to her tear-streaked cheeks. It was on her thumb. It wasn't the most traditional proposal (which it wasn't even that) but what _was_ ever orthodox when it came to Len and her? And when did it matter?

She loved this man. They _loved _each other. _That_ was all that mattered.

"Len," she sighed, heart aching in her chest as she stretched and tenderly kissed his lips, tears no longer forming and slipping down her face. She slipped her finger into his after finding his hand and squeezing it gently.

He smiled, eye bright and lighting up his face sheet white from pallor. His smile was so warm still, so loving…

Her heart fluttered yet tore.

"I love you," he said. She swallowed, face reddening as if this had been the first time he'd ever said the words. "And I would give anything – you know I would – to change these circumstances…but we've made our peace – I take it. So…the best – last thing that we can do is this because we at least deserve _that_ much, don't you think?" They both watched as he slightly played with the ring on her thumb and ran his finger tip against the three diamonds. "I always wondered why there were three and my grandfather never told me why, but I know now. Two diamonds are smaller than one – the biggest one in the middle. What do you think that signifies?"

Rin looked up to him for a moment before looking back at the ring and staring at it, trying to get his logic…which didn't take long to realize. "Mind, body, and soul."

He grinned loving down to her, nodding. "That's right. Mind, body," he pointed then out, the two small diamonds before sitting his thumb on the biggest – right in the middle. Rin watched as it sparkled and beautifully gleamed in the light. "_Soul_."

She swallowed and looked up to him. He stared straight back and showered her with love through his beautiful depths. Her heart ached more and she felt new, both sorrowful and happy tears, gather in her eyes.

"Through anything," he started, leaning in and she merely slid her watery eyes closed as he got closer. "Through sickness and in health…"

Their breaths tangled together as a tear slipped down her cheek. "Till death do us part," she whispered, just as their lips brushed…all before pressing and molding together, pouring their love, passion and soul and fear into that very kiss – as if it were their last.

* * *

_I'll always love you._

_

* * *

_

That night, at least a quarter past eleven, she awoke to the ring still on her thumb and a realization that it wasn't some sort of dream.

But, the smiled left a moment later when she turned to him and found him breathing shallowly and almost painfully. When she reached and touched him, he didn't budge.

She reached up to cup his cheek – only to recoil back. His skin felt like fire.

It struck like lightning.

He had a fever.

She clutched at the ring, as if it were the only thing left that would keep her alive. She clutched it until there was blood drawn.

She cried.

* * *

**• ****The 'Tap's Significance •**

**

* * *

**

"_So, the other night, we were joking about making up some sort of 'mating-call' – "_

"_Not a _mating call_ – what the hell Len – "_

"_I'm only kidding. Now, as I was saying – I know we were just joking and all – stop smirking like that or I'll jump you – but I've come up with something."_

"_Pfft – okay, Sir Mastermind, what have you come up with?"_

"_Well, I love you."_

"…_? Uhm…I know this already?"_

"_No, not – _I love you_. Tell me – how many syllable does that statement have?"_

"…_each word has only on sounding syllable…"_

"_Exactly, and since those three – one syllable words are together – "_

"_It sounds like three in all."_

"_Precisely!"_

"…_So…what's your point – don't look at me like that! You're weird and hard to figure out sometimes!"_

"_Ehm, anyways. My logic behind my madness is this…"_

"…_all you did was tap the table."_

"Listen_…"_

"…_Oh! The taps match the syllable! _Oh!_"_

"_Yeah!"_

"…_how corny!"_

"_Gah, you wound me!"_

"_Eheh…uh well…okay…I…I agree with it. Because, you can just about do this anywhere. And, as corny as it is…it…makes me happy just to know what it stands for."_

_Okay. Then I guess it's settled. It'll be our little reminder everyday – no matter what – no matter where…that we love each other, yeah?"_

_

* * *

_

**• ****Forever :: Eternity •**

**

* * *

**

For day – just close to a week – he had been unconscious, and she spent most of that very time, hovering over him – changing the cooling cloth whenever it got too dry and keeping him covered or holding his hand. Rarely did she leave the room – except to eat quickly, take care of her business, and even clean a bit, just to get her mind off worrying and worrying every _second_…

It scared her. It scared her so much. She would hold his hand, so hard, and yet – it always felt like he was still slipping no matter how hard she held.

It drove her insane. She just wanted to jump out of her skin and scream and yell and weep and plead…

Once, she had caught herself praying and chanting – she didn't him to die so soon – so quickly. There _had_ to be just a _little_ more time left; _there had to_.

_Please_…

Miraculously, on the sixth day, as she held his hand while forcing herself to read, he shifted and for the first time in days, she met his beautiful eyes again.

He was awake. His fever was broken.

_He was alive_.

She was so happy and grateful and for the first time in a long time – she thanked God for pulling him through and prolonging his life just a little bit longer. She squeezed and kissed at his hand, tears in her eyes as he weakly squeezed back and merely smile at her.

The same beautiful smile that never ceased to assure her his love.

But she knew as she gently planted sweet kisses on his paper-white knuckles…

He wouldn't be the same – not ever again.

: | . | :

He needed help getting around most days – not that she minded. She would help him limp and stagger to where he need to go when he asked. He rarely talked for more than while and usually he just preferred to sit with her and stare off into space, enjoying the silence.

It saddened her considerably, even though his eyes were still open, lips still smiling and his heart still beating – but it was so depressing – so heart-wrenching to just see him slowly…

_Slip away._

But she reminded herself that every moment – ever second he was still alive and awake (for he mostly slept too) counted. More than anything.

One night, very close to the end of June, she awoke to the bed somewhat creaking from sudden movement.

"Mm – Lenny," she asked softly, drowsily, as she sat up and turned to his side of the bed. With the light from his bedside table, she watched as he slipped off his shirt, glowing pale skin glistening in the light. Despite loathing what this disease has done to him – making him lose his weight of muscle and eating him away – she realized the reason why he was up and moving when he should be resting.

_Night sweats_.

He cleared his throat as he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Go back to sleep, songbird."

She sat up more and brushed her hair more out of her face. She scooted more over to him and gently set her hand on his back, comfortingly rubbing it – not caring about the clamminess.

He merely sighed at that and looked over to her, tiredly and looking so miserable. She cooed softly, sympathetically smiling.

"Shh," she ran her thumb lightly against his painfully visible rib. "I know just the trick, baby."

And within moments, they were in the bathroom and she was in his lap, sharing a bath with him.

A _very_ cold bath.

But, even as she shook against him and her teeth slightly chattered, she wouldn't have it any other way. No matter how many times he protested and tired to get her back to bed, she wouldn't budge. She wouldn't miss a second of him. Not ever.

"But you're freezing," he incredulously murmured, watching as she messed with his finger to keep her mind off the temperature of the water. He was cooling down a bit, but he just couldn't believe she would even do this. "Uh, hypothermia?"

"_Uh_, I don't care?" She tipped her head up to him and gently kissed at his jaw. "Now, I've heard enough…you have a stubble."

He blinked before actually letting out a chuckle. "Wow…"

She softly giggled and kissed his chin affectionately while forcing her trembling to a minimum. She rested against him more, sighing shakily as he sighed as well and wrapped his arms around her, probably finally giving up.

"You're too much," he breathed against her ear. She slightly flushed as shifted a little, loving his still husky and deep voice…but that stubble…

"Nn, that stubble is too much," she saw forward and he lessened his hold on her as she reached out and got one thing off the side of the tub.

He scoffed. "You've got to be kidding me, Rin."

She turned around in his lap and straddled him, grinning softly. "Let me humor you."

"Don't you mean pamper?" He rolled his eyes as she shook the can of shaving cream.

"_Oh?_ So a man can be pampered," she sarcastically drawled as she splayed a generous amount of cream on his and set the can down.

"Sure can, I got pedicures throughout college," he retorted lowly. "Loved them to death."

"Your point?" She began to dab the cream over his jaw. Their eyes met.

…And then they both snorted in laughter.

"Thanks for the confession," she giggled, getting the razor from the side of the tub.

"Thanks for humoring me," he chuckled before relaxing his jaw and setting his face in a serious expression as she slowly – carefully – began to shave him.

And once again, with eyes full of warmth, she felt his wife. With concentrated strokes, she ran the razor over his skin, ridding him of his prickly facial hair. And he only stared back at her, bathing her in the permanent loving gaze he had just for her. It might seem pointless to some, but shaving the face of the man you love was just…she just couldn't find the words for it.

She felt so much…

She gently ran her hand against his slightly cream-streaked cheek, running her finger tips against the sudden smoothness.

His eyes fluttered closed. "Better?"

She flipped her hand and stroked the same cheek with back of her hand, eyes roaming around his face…which was a bit thin and somewhat sunken in, but always, to her – he was still the most beautiful she had even set her eyes on. "Mm, very much," she murmured gently, running her eyes along his lips. "Very handsome…"

His eyes fluttered back open, catching her gaze. He actually got some color on his cheeks. "Rin…" he trailed, disagree with her through his eyes, which she lightly scoffed at that. "N – "

"_Len_," she stopped him gently and straddled him a bit more, leaning in and pressing her cheek to his. She breathed out as she lightly caressed at his neck. "You are still _very_ handsome…"

He sighed softly against her ear, whispering her name. He swallowed as he set his hands gently on her hips and she found her breath slightly hitching and her chest pressed completely to his.

"I love you, so much," he lovely murmured as she breathed out quick and arched, sliding her hand on his shoulder and gripping.

"Nn-Len," she softly kissed at his cheek and ear, flushing harder as their hearts jumped against each other. "I love you, too…"

And just like that, like many times during that month, nothing else matter. Not even the ice cold water as they, almost both eagerly but oh-so-slowly made-love, ignoring the obvious face that the clock was ticking…

* * *

**•** **July •**

* * *

Soon, Len was stuck in bed and had no other choice other than to stare out the window. Lest he was unconscious – which was a usual thing, too. And Rin stayed with him, every minute of the day, holding his hand and lying with him – always keeping him company . She rarely got up unless it was for personal reasons and getting something to drink, at least.

The days were long, but a blessing that his opened every time, assuring her that he was still with her. They hardly talked and most of the hours he was awake he also choked and coughed.

She hated it all. Especially when his blood would run and there was nothing she could really do about it. He wasted away, right next to her and there was nothing she could do about it.

Sometimes, she got so furious. She took the time he was asleep to take a pillow to the bathroom and scream into it until her voice was hoarse and then she'd cry until she couldn't even breathe anymore.

_Why_, she asked silently. _Why?_ She'd bury her head in her hands.

_Why not me…_

But of course, there was no answer and in the end, Len always weakly called for her, if he ever awoke during that time. And, as always, she would return to him and plaster on a fake smile. Just for him.

But sometimes, he would have a knowing look in his eyes. Like he knew.

: | . | :

"Rin," he murmured one morning as they watched the dawn, holding hands in the sheets.

She hummed softly, watching as he ran his thumb over the ring, tiredly smiling.

"…I ask every day…why it had to be like this…" he trailed, thinking for a moment. "But it had to."

She slowly turned to him and he stared back into her eyes. She swallowed and quickly turned away, closing her eyes. He reached up and gently grasped her chin and turn her to him, which she couldn't fight.

"Len," she whispered hollowly. "…No…"

"_Yes_," he said softly. He pulled her more to him. She didn't fight. "Yes," he repeated. "Because you have to let it go. This is how it is."

She was silent, staring back at him, her eyes watered. She blinked away. "…Why does it have to be you?"

His eyes softened and her pulled her to his chest, where she rested her head against him and practically fed off his gentle heartbeat.

"Out of all the wicked people out there – why you? You've never done anything," she whispered, almost sounding lost. "And if not that, then why is God doing this? Or, better yet, letting it happen?"

"He must be letting it happen because it needs to happen. He could need me and made it to where I just couldn't be cured. Perhaps I am something that he needs to strengthen medical science in this field – it's something. But that doesn't change the fact that this is happening and going to happen," he paused to lightly cough and catch his breath. "I though we've already made peace with this."

She clutched his shirt a bit. "…I can't help it – I just…" she trailed off…

He nodded at this in understanding. "…It's getting close now," he murmured lowly. "I can feel it…"

She clutched harder, squeezing her eyes shut, curling to him. "_Len_," she whispered urgently.

"Shh," he drawled, like he was tired and gently, she felt lips on her head. "It's alright. I'm not afraid or angry or sad anymore. I have loved you with all my heart in this blessed relationship. I couldn't ask for more…" he trailed off softly, almost as if he were too tired to speak.

By then, she was silently – but strongly – sobbing in his shirt.

His chest slowly rose and fell and she kept her ear on his heart – just in case.

It was quiet for a long time and all that happened was his breathing, his heart, and her silent cries and sniffles.

And yet, he spoke after all that time, weakly, and she had to strain her ears to listen.

He said," After all that has happened and soon to come…please, songbird…please…smile?"

She blinked silently for a while after that, softly crying harder before she looked up.

His eyes were closed. She lowered her head back on his chest and only wept harder.

: | . | :

Days slowly passed and Len was barely awake most of the time. She would sit by his side, like always and hold his hand and watch his chest slowly rise and fall, which she was thankful for. Sometimes he would wake up suddenly, choking and wheezing and coughing and she would quickly lull him back to sleep after he would finally catch his breath, for she knew he was in pain.

When he was awake, he would hold her hand back and sit up. He didn't say much and sometimes, he would reach into his bedside table and take out a bible – a beautiful black one with gold-lined paper. He would ask her to read to him and, of course, she would oblige.

"_What would you like me to read?_" She asked as she turned the thin pages to the table of contents.

He looked off for a moment, obviously thinking before he murmured, "_1 Corinthians. Thirteen_."

She would never forget the words whom she later learned was written by Apostle Paul. Never would she forget. She had never really read from the Bible, she had even thought it wasn't worth her time and that it was boring; that it wasn't for her.

It was for everyone.

She read, _"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing._

_Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."_

In the middle of that, his hand had found her and by the end, he was asleep again. She spent the rest of the night, watching him. Such beautiful words; all of them the truth. She felt it in her heart and obvious…so did he.]

One day, a while after that and other readings, he started humming an interesting tone – one that even though he wasn't using any words and such was still beautiful.

"_What is that?_" She had asked.

Instead of answering, he took a breath and actually began to sing.

"_Utatte…hoshii, shizunkana ai no kotoba,_" he sang and she was surprised that he could even do so, considering his condition, but he did.

It was so beautiful…she would never forget it either. _Nothing_. She would carry the song in her heart forever.

_Their song_.

However, not long after that, he was hardly ever awake…hardly ever breathing right. And she never let go. She never stopped being at his side. Never stopped telling him that she loved him – so much. That she would love him forever. She hardly ever cried anymore because of it. She never stopped crying.

Because he had asked.

_She would do anything_.

* * *

**She had made her peace.**

* * *

One night, the end of the July, he woke her up at ten (from what she could distinguish from his bedside table). It was raining.

"Songbird," he whispered, and she felt lips on her neck and his arms wrap around her waist.

"Lenny," she whispered almost questioningly (completely awake now) and turned to him. He gently kissed her face and took her lips with gentle need.

His forehead rested against hers and their noses touched as she breathed deeply, a little surprised from the sudden affection. Not a second later, he whispered, "Make love to me…"

The rain pattered harder against the window as her eyes widened.

"L-Len," she breathed, looking up to him in surprise.

He kissed her again and touched her. Left her almost breathless as he oh-so-softly pleaded under the sound of the rain. "Please Rin, _please_…let me…"

She quickly shushed him and shook her head, reaching up and gently brushing back his hair. "No, no – I'm not saying 'no,' I was just surprised is all."

His eyes got apologetic as she caressed his warm cheek and he murmured, "I'm sorry – I didn't mean to – "

"Shh," she hissed gently and merely pressed herself to him and silenced him with a deep kiss of her own. She slowly made him lie on his back all the while and straddled him.

He opened his mouth as she leaned back, but she caught him and used her left pointer finger to silence him again. "Shh…"

The ring glistened in the dark as she slipped off her shirt and no other words were said.

And they found themselves in tears near the end, right before they reached their release together, for even though they did not speak it – it was obvious.

* * *

**• ****They made love for the last time. •**

* * *

And so, he got closer. Farther away from her. Continued to slip from her. He couldn't keep holding on, she knew. It was only a matter of time.

He was usually asleep, days on end, and he never spoke anymore whenever he was awake. And soon, he came down with another raging fever and she knew.

And so, she waited. Found herself praying sometimes. Watching him. Kept his hand in hers even though he never truly held it back anymore. Rested her head against his chest whenever his chest would sometimes barely even rise.

And she waited.

[Because that was all that was left.]

And one evening, as the sun was setting and the sky was painted with such beautiful oranges and yellows, reds and pinks, she had happened to glanced over to him and noticed his eyes were open. He seemed to be drowsily looking around, not seeming to find her, and she quickly brushed back his hair from his hot forehead.

"Hey baby," she said softly, close.

He turned and leaned into her touch and tiredly looked up to her. "Rin," he hoarsely asked, as if he were uncertain.

She gently ran her thumb over his thin, flushed cheek and gazed at him lovingly. "Mmhm," she hummed.

He fell quiet, blinked a few times before he softly spoke (and she had to lean close), "…Imagine, Rin, two doves. Always together. Always intertwined. And then…one drops from the sky…" he paused, growing more hoarse. "…what will the dove left in the sky do, then…?"

She closed her eyes, imagining it as she laced her fingers into his. She swallowed.

And answered. "…The lone dove would only follow soon after."

She slowly opened her eyes soon after that…and noticed that he had closed his eyes and fallen back to sleep.

: | . | :

The birds woke her up early on the seventh of August. Of course, she hadn't been two thrilled when she noticed that it was barely dawn, but she knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

She turned and sighed, snuggling into something somewhat soft yet…hard. What was she lying on…?

_Oh_, she thought, lightly smiling to herself. _It's Len_. She remembered him weakly pulling her to him during the middle of the night, which she had barely acknowledged in her half-sleep state. She cuddled more to him, breathing out softly and smiling…until her eyes fluttered open. Completely awake.

She was lying against him. Her face was against his chest.

_And nothing was happening_.

No breathing.

No heartbeat.

"Nn," she blurted as she slowly began to realize and sit up. She sat in his lap – straddling him – and she could only stare as his pale, thin face in dead-shock.

He looked so peaceful, the sky coloring outside and shining over him.

Beautiful.

_He was gone_.

* * *

**•** **And she was left. •**

* * *

"…utatte hoshii…"

She was singing their song at the table, staring at the phone in her hands. Tapping it against the surface lightly.

"Kimi no."

_Tap_.

"Boku no."

_Tap._

"Yoru no."

_Tap_. The sky was getting brighter.

"Asa no."

_Tap._

"Umi no."

…_Tap._

"Sora…no…"

_Tap…_

Her head lowered. She stared at the table until her eyes burned.

Though, they were already burning in the first place.

She breathed. "Shirable…"

She stilled and blinked. Hard. Her breath hitched when she noticed tears finally falling. She choked. Shook. Panted. She was blind.

"…Anata ga waratteru…" The phone slipped out of her shaking hands and she spread her fingers and stared at the ring on her thumb.

Stared. And stared. And sobbed.

All before she rose her index finger and slowly…

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

"_Just listen after you do it, and I'll answer back."_

. . .

…Silence.

…It was over.

Her hands found her face. And she screamed.

* * *

**•** _August 7, 2009_** •**

* * *

**• ****Part Three: E N D •**

* * *

…

**Don't kill me. **

**Please.**

**Thank you. **

**The next part will be out soon. There's no preview. After that, UTLB is finished.**

**Forgive any format mess-ups. There's a reason why I dislike Internet Explorer. ;**

**Dictionary**** - **

**Utatte hoshii – Please sing…**

**Kimi no, boku no, yoru no, asa no, umi no, sora no (in exact order) – Yours, mine, the night's, the morning's, the sea's , the sky's…**

**Anata ga waratteru – You're smiling…**

**Shirabe - Melody**


	4. Hanako

Until the Last Breath

VOCALOID – 02

By: Chi~

**Disclaimer:**** Can't I cry in my corner in peace?**

**A/N: **Till the end, my friends.

_Read in ½. _

* * *

**Epilogue  
****- Part Four - **

: | . | :

**•** _Hanako __**•**_

"_Even as the days pass and soon turn into weeks and soon turn into years, the flowers bloom in black and white – but slowly – I'll learn to see their vibrant colors again. Just as they had been when you were here…"_

_- _The Author Herself

* * *

"Another wedding," she murmured softly as the breeze somewhat ran through her almost waist long hair. It wafted behind the bench she was currently sitting at and she brushed some of the bangs that had blew in her face from the wind.

The sun was at its brightest and the Sakura was in bloom. Why wouldn't there be a wedding?

"Many are having simple ceremonies. It's actually…_flattering_," the woman next to her agreed, watching the same scene she was.

She smiled over to her and sat forward, making her hair cascade down her back and fold. She held her sweater more to her form as another soft breeze ran through the many trees around them and watched as their surroundings were flooded with a sea of soft pink. She felt a petal brush against her cheek, making her eye lightly squint.

"How are you," she asked, looking down at the woman's belly, watching her cradle it.

"Anxious," the woman answered, gazing down at herself, eyes softening. "And excited," she'd added a moment later.

She softly smiled and nodded. "You're glowing…and you look like you're about to pop."

The woman laughed before she had to stop herself. But she still giggled. "P-Please refrain from humoring me. It makes Gakun _kick_ me."

"I just can't believe that you're almost due. You're so big."

"I believe I said the same thing to you when you were close to giving birth, Rin-chan," Gakupo Miki said, amusement in her soft, intelligent voice.

She smiled and softly sighed, leaning back on the bench. "Yeah…" she trailed. "It's been a long year…"

Miki slowly nodded, in deep thought, basking in agreement between them. It was quiet for a while as they watched the petals flow by with their own beautiful grace…

"I remember the day vividly," Miki started. "When you told me he had left you a child. It wasn't long after his funeral…"

- : -

"_A beautiful day today," Miki murmured, looking up at the sky in the daze. "And it was only raining a few days ago…"_

_The girl beside her was quiet, also in a daze. She seemed like she couldn't agree more and yet – she couldn't disagree either. And, above all, she was slumping a bit on the bench and pale and fatigued and…_

_Forlorn._

_The world seemed gray to her, even as the cherry blossoms on the trail they were sitting along was slowly beginning to bloom. There was no color._

_Not anymore._

"_Thank you for – uh…coming out today," Miki said, coming out of her thoughts. She turned to her, slightly looking both sheepish and apologetic. "You…didn't have to if you weren't feeling well, Rin-chan."_

_Rin's gaze lowered slowly and she turned to the redhead. Her finger slightly messed with the ring on her thumb._

"…_I need to tell you something," she said lowly, somewhat looking off as if she was unsure. "…and I figured it was something to tell in person…" she added._

_Miki blinked at her, eyes slightly widening, thinking the worst and making a hasty generalization, which she couldn't possibly help. After all, Rin looked…ill. "Are you - ?"_

_Rin caught that look. She sprang to life for a moment, assuring her that that wasn't the case. "No, no – not that. I'm alright; it's just something…" she looked off again. "…else…"_

_Miki blinked before breathing out hard, out of relief. "Thank Kami-sama…" she trailed before blinking again with a new found curiosity. "What is it you need to tell me, then?"_

_Slowly, the breeze set in and they both held their jackets to themselves during the silence. Rin lightly shivered, looking down at their shoes and Miki peeked over to her. _

_Tears were beginning to fill her cerulean eyes and Miki reached out and gently touched her shoulder, a bit alarmed. "Rin-chan…"_

_Rin's cerulean eyes, slowly beginning to over fill with tears turn to hers and they stared for a moment before she broke and began to sob. _

"_R-Rin-chan!"_

"_Miki…" she choked out, leaning to her and holding onto her like a child. "…I'm pregnant…"_

- : -

Rin stared at the ground as the fog of remembrance faded away. "Yes…I remember…"

Miki smiled to her, then, brushing her hair away. However, a lightly blush covered her face as she shifted a little in her seat. Rin began to grin.

"Is he kicking?" she asked, somewhat in amusement as the redhead stroked at her belly, closing her cherry eyes.

"Gakun has been moving a lot these days," she breathed and very slightly flinched. "Must he _kick_ too?"

Rin softly giggled, watching as she made another light expression of discomfort.

"Well, you're so big," she said. "I won't be surprised if Kamui-kun calls in a huff and informes that Gakun finally decided to join us out here."

Miki hummed, slightly smiling over to her after a moment. "Mm, he seems quite eager."

Rin smiled back softly and looked off to the church again, seeing that the bride and groom had already went off, starting their new lives together. Miki turned to look where she was, seeing the rice and races of the ceremony that had ended.

"I remember your wedding," Rin said, then, as they stared at the mess. "It was beautiful and small, like that one was."

Both of them turned their eyes to the wedding ring on Miki's slender ring finger, resting against her bulging stomach. They both quietly admired it, remembering the day when Miki actually wore make-up, white, a vale, and Kamui without his signature katana strapped to his waist…

"…His parents helped him pay for it," Miki murmured, watching as the somewhat large diamond gleamed in the sun. Her eyes trailed to Rin's, watching as all three of the diamonds on it did the same on her thumb. Her cherry depths then trailed to her good friend's very own.

"I'm sorry, Rin-chan…" she said softly. "Really.

[She would never have a wedding.]

_With all her heart._

Rin looked back and only smiled. "Mm," she shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Miki-chan. This is enough until God wants me, too."

: | . | :

"Okaa-san," she called as she closed the door. "Tadaima!"

She was immediately greeted by a happy giggle and gurgle. She grinned.

"Ah, up here, honey," Kumiko called from the top of the stairs. She heard another giggle and a laugh. "She's having a time."

Rin lightly giggled herself, slipping off her shoes and combing her long hair to one shoulder. "I'll be up in a second," she called, turning and starting past the stairs and down the hall.

"Good, she's missed you," her mother called back, much amusement in her voice. She heard another giggle, felt her heart jump as she stepped into the living room and slowly smiled sadly, almost.

She got on her knees after stepping up to a table. Stared at the picture in front of her after clapping her hands together and bowing her hands and then sitting up again.

He merely smiled back and her eyes admired him but filled with a bit of forlorn.

Still.

"We miss you…" she started. "She's growing everyday and I see you in her so much, all the time. She has your smile…and your laugh…"

She lightly gripped at her dress in her lap. "She's so beautiful and I can tell she'll be a lot like you." She blinked a few times, messed with her dress some more. "She _really_ likes bananas like you…and pineapples…and music…"

…She sighed softly and bowed her head, biting her lip. "…I miss you…" she whispered. "It's been a year…"

And she did. _So much_. And it _had_ been a year.

_August 7._

Len had been gone a year and had left her something that was both a gift and something of a curse – if she wasn't careful in her thoughts.

Their child.

Their _daughter_.

It had taken her only days to realize this after his death – that she was pregnant. And it was devastating. She hadn't seen the possibility of such a thing happening at the time, which was understandable. All she had seen at the time was a brick wall in her life due to his death, not a long, twisted trail around it with a daughter on her hip.

But, in the end, as the days rolled on to April first, the birth of their daughter, she came to realize that even though she didn't have anymore, she still had a piece of him – something they had created together.

Something else to live for.

Something _else_ worth living for, really, when she first looked into their daughter's eyes and saw _him_.

It had been long process. She had had to go to school during her surprisingly smooth pregnancy (considering she was small and more eligible for complications due to that fact, which had really stumped some doctors). Which her mother had approached the situation with open arms (with less smart comments this time as well), those at Hikari High hadn't taken it so well, which she had expected.

The school's "_kawaii-flower_" had become the "_closet-whore_".

She had no time to dwell on their lies (for some boys had come up with claims of _bedding_ her for popularity purposes) and rumors and their judging. Len was gone. She was pregnant. Miki was getting married at the end of the year (right after their graduation, actually) and she needed to support her while being _supported_. The world was gray. It all passed over her head. After all, she had felt a bit angry and betrayed – losing the love of her life and then discovering she was pregnant with his child days after his _funeral. _

_How was any of that fair?_

But, thus, it was only realistic and the world kept turning. She should've seen it coming, considering the fact that Len and her had made-love many times unprotected during that summer. Who could've noticed, though, during all that?

And in the end, as the leaves had began to fall and their daughter began to grow and become more and more apart of her as she continued to somehow live without him and soon live for their child.

And just like that, the world seemed just a little bit brighter and the students had backed down, soon commenting that she had that "glow" that most pregnant women somehow had. Some had even apologized and Miki analyzed and monitored her with both fascination and passion, especially when it was creeping ever closer to the due date.

Rin had been quite scared all the while and she relied on Miki, her samurai-_fiance_ Kamui, and her own mother for support – which her mother had helped her the most considering she had been pregnant before. And _God_, she had wished Len had really been there…

But no, of course, he could only watched from then on as she got closer to having their blessed child.

Then, it had happened. Six pounds and eight ounces. Her mother's hair. Her own button nose (as Len had called it…) and cutely round face. His child. His smile.

And, his eyes.

Out of all the pain and the fact that her lover was gone, she still loved the wailing, confused newborn with all her heart without a second thought.

Their beautiful child.

She wiped the single tear that ran from her eye at the memories over the year. The long process of living for the last piece of him left on earth, giving life to it and loving every bit of it.

_Just like I know you'd want me to_.

She reached out and touched the picture, slowly running her thumb over it.

"I miss you, so much…" she whispered. "And it's hard…but I can do it. _We_ can do it."

She slowly began to stand up, taking her hand away slowly, almost hesitantly.

But it had to be done.

"I'll always love you," she said. "…Kagamine-sensei."

She stepped back. Smiled.

"Until the last breath…ne?"

**•** **E N D •**

* * *

**And…there it is. "**_**Until the Last Breath**_**."**

**This is dedicated to my former English teacher who had passed away during the summer. I hope she read this while I created and slaved over it and I hope she knows that she's right – English honors is pretty good…if only there wasn't so much work. XD**

**I feel a little emotional…another story finished and this one was…really my best work. I mean, even **_**I**_** saw the improvement during these long four months with conjuring up this story and I'd call it a masterpiece…but I don't have much pride still. But this was very good, because you all said so.**

**I want to thank IMOUTO, for being there and the number one fan. She forgets to review once in a while – same as CHOU – but meh. They still make up for it, yea' know? **

**I want to thank CHOU too, even though she wasn't part of the picture all too much (I seriously need to catch up on her stories, she's getting pissed at me for that) but she still liked it very much. I know. YOU DID. YOU KNOW YOU DID, CHOU. YOU KNOW IT. :ehem: Anyways. I included the Miki/Kamui in here just for her and GOD it was so adorable X3 LOVE YOU GURL!**

**And I want to thank all those who reviewed EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER. Such wonderful support…really…my heart beats warmly in my chest right now from them and you guys really got me through.**

…**It's done. Can't believe it.**

**But there is still more to come. :excited constipated smile: XDDDDDD**

"_**Innocence**_**" shall be the next one to be finished and then…how about finally finishing up "**_**Bloody Secrets**_**,**_**"**_** eh? X3 **

**See you wonderful people around. Bye for now.**

**Dictionary**** – **

**Tadaima – I'm back/ I'm home.**

**Hanako – Flower-child. (And yes, that's the name of their daughter.)**


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